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I’m Writing Again!

Back in 2020, I stopped writing fiction. At the time, I was working on two different novels. One was tentatively titled Second Chances, and the other, Leaving Home. I had recently ended a relationship, and I needed to take a break. I wasn’t in the right head space to concentrate on the two novels.

As time went on, I got busy doing other things. I contracted to build a new house, and I eventually moved into that house. A while later, I started working on finishing a master’s degree, which took up a lot of time (I wrote about it here). A little over a year later, I sold that house and moved back to Wisconsin (which I wrote about here).

One thing after another kept me away from writing fiction. I continued to write  weekly (usually) blog posts (like this one), but I just couldn’t find the time, energy, or interest to write fiction. Even so, it bothered me that I wasn’t writing. For the past several years, I have felt the almost constant need to work on a short story, novella, or novel, and when I don’t, I feel uneasy. It’s a weird phenomenon feeling compelled to do something, while simultaneously not feeling like doing it.

Of course, just because I wasn’t writing, that didn’t mean I wasn’t still coming up with new ideas for books. I currently have 20-25 book ideas in various stages of production, but when I’m not writing, the ideas just stack up. And the more they stack up, the worse I feel.

Thankfully, three or four months ago I started writing fiction again. Best of all, the words have been coming fast and easy. I started working on Leaving Home again (I’m not sure if that title is going to last) and I’m pleased to announce that I completed the first draft of the novel last week.

Leaving Home is the story of Brian Ross, an American who moves to Paris in the 1920s. He’s disillusioned with his life and his relationship with his father, and he wants to get as far away from his home in Chicago as possible. In Paris he meets a young woman, they fall in love, and he moves to London to be with her. They marry, have a child, and live a wonderful life. Of course, it wouldn’t be much of a story if they simply lived happily ever after. War breaks out and their lives are torn apart in ways they could have never imagined.

I still have a lot of work to do. Revisions will take a month or two, but I’m getting close. I’m not planning on publishing the book until this summer, so I have time. But the sooner I can finish the book, the sooner I can start working on the next one.

I’m excited to continue work on Leaving Home and all the other books to come. But most of all, I’m excited to be writing fiction again.

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The Best Books I Read in 2023

There is a Chinese curse that says, “May you live in interesting times.” To be certain, we live in extraordinarily interesting times. And the times we live in affect our lives in various ways, including impacting my reading habits.

Because of what has been going on in politics and world events over the past year, I have been reading much more nonfiction to help me understand these interesting times. I want to better understand the founding of the United States. There are a lot of myths and misunderstandings that tend to find their way into the media and public conversations.

I also want to understand times in our country’s history that are similar to what we are living through right now. How did our ancestors react? What can we do? What should we expect in the future?

I want to better understand the Supreme Court. The current Court is overtly political and dysfunctional. Perhaps more than at any other time in history. I want to understand how we got here and how we can fix it.

Because of my desire to better understand these issues, the list of the ten best books I read in 2023 is heavily skewed toward nonfiction. Of course, that doesn’t mean I didn’t read any fiction this past year. I read some excellent works of fiction that I am excited to include in my list.

Before we begin, let me tell you about the worst book I read all year. The name of the book is Fear the Wolf, and the reason it is noteworthy is because of who wrote it. Fear the Wolf was written by James Patterson and Mike Lupica.

I’m sure you’ve heard of James Patterson. He has sold more books than any other American author. In fact, he probably sold more books in the time it took me to write this sentence than I likely will sell in my entire writing career. His writing often gets criticized as simple and formulaic, but I respect the business he has built around his writing. He found a way to get rich writing books. We should all be so lucky.

Lupica is a well-regarded former sports writer who turned his attention to writing fiction several years ago. I used to read his writing (mostly about baseball) when he was still writing for newspapers, and I thought he was quite good. I also liked watching him on the ESPN show, “The Sportswriters.”

Patterson and Lupica should have produced good, well-written genre fiction. But together, they created a truly horrible book.

Okay, enough complaining. Let’s get to the ten best books I read in 2023.

10. Nine Black Robes by Joan Biskupoc and The Supermajority by Michael Waldman – The Supreme Court has been an interest of mine for years. I’ve followed it closely, and I even wrote my master’s thesis on proposed reforms to the Court (and posted a multi-part series about Supreme Court reform proposals last year based on my thesis). Nine Black Robes and The Supermajority both examine the current Court and explore how it came to be so far-right and reactionary. Both books do an excellent job of dissecting the Court; not only how it came to be so ideologically lopsided, but what the results have meant for the country. I understand that most people do not find entertainment in reading about the Supreme Court, but if you do, I recommend both Nine Black Robes and The Supermajority.

 

9. The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance by W. Timothy Gallwey – Let’s start with this: Timothy Gallwey is a tennis coach. The title of the book is the The Inner Game of Tennis. Even so, this is not a tennis book. It is a book about peak performance and how to achieve it, regardless of whether you are playing tennis, running a business, or teaching a class. I’m a little late to the game, considering that the book was first published in 1997, but the information is still groundbreaking and cutting edge. Gallwey tells stories from his days as a tennis coach, but in many ways, those stories serve as metaphors for the concepts he is teaching. No matter what pursuit you are trying to master, The Inner Game of Tennis can help you strengthen the mental side of your pursuit and perform at your highest level. It’s a relatively short read, but it packs a mighty punch.

 

8. 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest – I read this book at the end of 2023 and I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of the ideas and concepts Wiest shares. When I say “read,” I should clarify that I listened to the audiobook. I love audiobooks. In fact, audiobooks may be my preferred way to “read.” But I think listening to 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think may have been a mistake. I listened straight through, from essay number one to essay number one-hundred-and-one. It was too much, too quickly. I think it would have made sense to read one essay at a time, let it percolate a bit, think about it, and let it settle in my brain or subconscious or wherever great concepts and ideas settle. I think I’m going to read the book again and give that a try. Regardless, I can tell you that if you are searching for a way to think differently about your life, your career, your relationships, and the world around you, this is the book for you. But don’t rush through it. Allow each and every essay to sink in. Consider each essay on its own merits. Unlike most books, this one is like a hundred-and-one separate books, each needing to be consumed individually, like bite-sized Hershey Kisses. And like Hershey Kisses, which are more enjoyable when you eat just one rather than an entire bag all at once, these essays are best consumed one at a time.

7. Drowning by TJ Newman – Finally, a work of fiction. Drowning is the second book in two years by TJ Newman to make my top ten list. Admittedly, Newman’s books are not my usual read. For whatever reason, I usually enjoy quieter reads that are more character-centered. That doesn’t mean I don’t love a good plot. I absolutely do. But I prefer my plots to occur in the real world (usually) involving situations we can all relate to. Newman’s books are not that. For instance, in Drowning, a plane crashes shortly after takeoff and plunges into the Pacific Ocean. The Navy is dispatched to rescue (or, more likely, recover) the passengers, but then a government contractor–an engineer working nearby for the Navy–gets involved, and it becomes clear that she and her crew are key to saving the doomed souls onboard the plane. Oh, and it just happens that her husband and daughter are among the passengers. Granted, this isn’t a plot most of us can relate to. But what we can relate to is the love a mother and wife have for their daughter and husband. We can relate to the desperation such a woman would feel. And we can understand and relate to the subtle (and not so subtle) misogyny involved when a woman challenges the Navy and questions their methods and resolve. Drowning is an exciting thriller, and Newman is relentless in the way she moves the story forward, with one cliff-hanger after another. If you want to get the book, see the link above. If you want to learn more about the author, TJ Newman, and her journey to bestsellerdom, I wrote a bit about it here.

 

6. The Nation That Never Was by Kermit Roosevelt III and The Second Founding by Eric Foner – Academically, these were the two best book I read in 2023. I say they were the best, not because of the quality of the writing (I’ll get to that in a minute), but because of the eye-opening way they both view the original founding of the United States and the way the Civil War and the post-Civil War amendments to the Constitution so profoundly changed our country. In fact, I would argue, we are still discovering just how profound those changes were. The story we tell ourselves as Americans—that our core values as a nation were stated in the Declaration of Independence, fought for in the Revolutionary War, and made law in the Constitution—not only no longer serve us, but the story isn’t even true. The values we hold dear—particularly personal liberty and equality before the law—were not part of our Founding Fathers’ vision. Instead, those values were stated in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, fought for in the Civil War, and made law through the Reconstruction Amendments. Roosevelt (the great-grandson of Theodore Roosevelt) and Foner both mine this idea in different ways and from slightly different perspectives. The one criticism I have of both books (Honestly, who am I to criticize) is that the books, which are written by academics for a lay audience, fall somewhere in between academic and popular nonfiction. They’re not quite dense and detailed enough to be considered academic tomes, yet they aren’t entertaining enough for the average layman. After all, they are telling an exciting story that most of us are at least a little familiar with. Both books would have benefited from more storytelling and less step-by-step progression. But to be clear, I still enjoyed reading both books and would highly recommend them both to anyone that wants to better understand the history of our country and our constitution.

5. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger – This is the book that launched the popular HBO series (which I have never seen). I said in an earlier review that I prefer realistic fiction, but there’s something about time travel that I just love. I’m not big on other science fiction, but I really do enjoy most time travel novels. The Time Traveler’s Wife is no exception. The book tells the story of Henry and Claire, a couple that is living two very different lives. Claire is living a normal, sequential life where one minute comes at a time and each day follows the one before it. Henry is a time traveler, jumping around in time from the past to the future, and he can’t seem to control when or where he goes. The book has rich and interesting characters, and a plot that is intricate, and at times, heartbreaking. But it can be hopeful too. I mean, think about the endless complications uncontrolled time travel can wreak on a relationship, yet Henry and Claire remain fully committed to one another no matter what situations arise or tragedy befalls them. Which is kind of the secret of this book. It involves time travel, but it’s really a love story.

4. Democracy Awakening: Notes on the State of America by Heather Cox Richardson – Heather Cox Richardson is a Professor of History at Boston College who came to prominence a few years ago because of her Facebook and Substack essays entitled “Letters from an American,” where she views the day’s political news through a historic lens. Democracy Awakening takes a similar tack, but also looks forward, considering what the United States will look like if the country chooses a leader in 2024 that has authoritarian (or even, fascist) leanings. I’ve listened to and read a lot of writing that Richardson has done, and it seems to me that her superpower is that she has an academic’s ability to research and understand history, and the ability to convey what she knows so even mere mortals like me can understand and appreciate it. In Democracy Awakening, Richardson examines the state of our nation, including recent events like the 2020 election and the January 6 insurrection, and analyzes them using her knowledge and understanding of history. In particular, Richardson looks at the way a group of wealthy elites has for decades—in some cases dating back to the founding—made war on the idea that “all men are created equal.” This group believes only “true Americans”—once identified as property-owning white men, and more recently defined as primarily wealthy, “right thinking,” white men—should have the right to vote and are ordained to run the country. However, as has happened so many other times in our country’s history, Richardson points out that marginalized groups are rising up, demanding that we renew and expand our commitment to the values espoused in the Declaration of Independence and codified in the Constitution. There’s a lot in this book that is frightening and disturbing, but in the end, Richardson strikes a hopeful tone, believing we are capable of reclaiming the freedom and equality that is our birthright. If you want to understand how we find ourselves at this particular juncture in history, you need to read Democracy Awakening.

3. Oath and Honor: A Memoir and a Warning by Liz Cheney – Liz Cheney has as impeccable conservative political credentials as nearly anyone in politics. She comes from conservative and Republican royalty. Her father served as a Congressman, Chair of the House Republican Conference, Chief of Staff to President Gerald Ford, and Vice-President in George W. Bush’s administration. Liz served in the State Department, was a Congresswoman, and served as the Chair of the House Republican Conference. But after the insurrection at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, Liz Cheney became the most outspoken critic of Donald Trump on the Republican side of the aisle. She has been unflinching in her criticism of Trump and she never wavered, even as other Republicans excused the behavior of the former POTUS. Her outspoken criticism of Trump cost her her position in the House Republican Conference and eventually led to her defeat in the 2022 election for Congress in Wyoming. That hasn’t slowed her down. In Oath and Honor, Cheney offers a detailed account of the events leading up to January 6, the harrowing hours while Congress was under attack by right-wing terrorists, and the evidence collected and presented by the House January 6 Committee, where she served as its vice-chair. Her descriptions are raw and detailed, and Cheney brings the receipts to back up her claims and warnings. Although I knew the details of the January 6 insurrection, listening to Cheney recall the events of that day sent a shiver up my spine. The book is a stark reminder of what can happen when we elect someone not committed to the Constitution and country, and who works for his own benefit, not for the good of the nation.

2. Pappyland: The Story of Family, Fine Bourbon, and the Things That Last by Wright Thompson – Wright Thompson is arguably the best sportswriter in America. His long-form features, which he writes for ESPN the Magazine, are always terrific. I look forward to everything he writes. In Pappyland, Thompson steps out of the sports world (albeit, not too far) to tell the story of the legendary (and often expensive) Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon and the family behind the name. As with much of Thompson’s writing, he injects some of his own story into the tale he is telling. His relationship with his father often plays a role in his stories, as does his young and growing family. Perhaps more than anything, Thompson injects his southern heritage and love for southern food, drink, and tradition into the Pappy story, which is already chock full of southern heritage and tradition. Thompson is not only a superb writer but also a master storyteller (those do not always go hand-in-hand). In Pappyland, he presents his characters in all of their vibrant and bent-halo glory, and tells their story in a intriguing and heartfelt way. I didn’t know anything about the Van Winkle family when I picked up Pappyland. By the time I put it down, I cared about them and wanted to raise a glass with them. That’s the Wright Thompson way.

1. Liberation Day by George Saunders – George Saunders is the finest living short story writer in America. There’s an argument to be made that he holds that title among both living and dead short story writers. In Liberation Day, Saunders offers more of his trademark wicked humor, excruciating heartbreak, and uber-human (a phrase I just made up) characters. The stories are all terrific, but the one that has stuck with me the longest and most relentlessly is “Love Letter.” I wrote previously about this awesome story. It was originally published in the New Yorker in May 2020 and served as a warning about what life in the United States could become if we didn’t protect our democracy. The story is even more prescient and important now as we get ever closer to the 2024 election. In a nutshell, the love letter in question is written by a grandfather to his grandson, warning him not to get on the wrong side of the new authoritarian government, and trying to explain how the grandfather and his generation could allow our proud and powerful country to fall into the hands of such an unfit, immoral tyrant. As he does with all of his stories, Saunders displays a gentle touch, telling the story in a subtle manner, yet getting his point across with the same ferocity as if he were wielding a sledgehammer. I read a lot of good books in 2023, but Liberation Day was the best of them all.

 

 

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Why Online Dating Sucks

I hate olives. It doesn’t matter if they’re green or black, I hate them. I can’t think of any food that tastes worse to me than olives. They’re disgusting.

Having said that, if I was stranded on a desert island and was starving, and olives were the only food available, I’d probably eat them. My desire to survive would win out over my desire to never have to eat olives.

That’s how I view online dating. It’s not much fun, but it’s the best game in town.

I’ve used online dating on and off to find a significant other since I got divorced in 2016. I’ve met a ton of women, had a lot of dates, and those dates have blossomed into two longer-term relationships. While it’s true I never would have met any of these women had I not been on Match.com or a few other dating sites I have used, I’ve hated nearly every second of my online dating experience.

Why would I hate it? First, it’s awkward meeting someone virtually. You really can’t tell much about a person from a few pictures and a self-description. Second, it’s time consuming. At various times while trying to find “the one,” I’ve felt like online dating was a full-time job. Third, online dating involves nearly constant rejection. I can’t tell you the number of times my messages have been ignored or how common it is to be ghosted after meeting someone.

But there’s more to it than that. Aside from my own personal reasons, science points out three big problems with online dating that can’t be ignored.

The “Soulmate” Conundrum

I believe in “true love.” That’s not a controversial statement. In fact, I’m not alone. Ninety-four percent of Americans also believe in “true love.” But some of my other opinions are not so widely accepted.

For instance, I don’t believe in the concept of “soulmates,” the idea that each of us has a specific partner that is a perfect match for us. In contrast, 74% of men and 71% of women believe in soulmates.

A lot of people using online dating sites say they are looking for their soulmate. In fact, I’ve heard many women say that it is like looking for a needle in a haystack (Men may say this too, but since I’m in the market for a woman, I don’t see men’s profiles.). Finding your soulmate is a romantic notion. I just don’t think it’s realistic. 

To me, relationships take a lot of time, hard work, commitment, and good luck. I wish it was as easy as just finding your soulmate and living happily ever after, but I can’t think of any successful relationship I have ever seen that relied exclusively on being soulmates.

Another reason I don’t accept the concept of “soulmates” is that it removes free will from the equation. If you believe in soulmates, you believe that God or the universe or some other omnipotent entity has already made the decision for who you should spend your life with. You have no say in the matter. That doesn’t work for me.

I would much rather choose to be with someone and work to make our relationship a success. I’m uncomfortable with the idea that the most important relationship in my life is largely out of my control.

Popular culture, especially movies, sells the idea of soulmates. It’s romantic to think that the perfect person is out there just waiting for you to find them. Then, through happenstance and coincidence, you find them, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Roll the credits.

Real life isn’t like that. And I would argue, expecting to find a soulmate on an online dating site reduces the chances that you’ll ever find true, lasting love.

In fact, it’s worse than that. Believing that some unseen force has brought two people together can actually lessen the chance that the two people will build a successful relationship. Research has shown that a belief in soulmates correlates with dysfunctional patterns in a relationship and an expectation that destiny–not hard work and open, honest communication–is what leads to a happy relationship.

Adjacent to a belief in soulmates is a belief in “love at first sight.” Can it happen? Sure. Is it a good idea to expect love at first sight to kick off the most important relationship in your life? Probably not.

According to Arthur C. Brooks, host of How to Build A Happy Life podcast and a contributing writer at The Atlantic, “Despite its popularity in stories and movies, love at first sight has little to do with reality. Researchers have found that what people describe as ‘love at first sight’ has no connection to the real hallmarks of true love, including passion, intimacy, and commitment. Rather, ‘love at first sight’ is either a phrase people use about the past to romanticize their meeting (notwithstanding the way it actually happened) or one that they use to describe exceptionally strong physical attraction.”

That “strong physical attraction” that Brooks identifies can be the start to a relationship, but is rarely enough to sustain it long-term. “Maintaining passionate love forever after is not only an unrealistic goal, but one that wouldn’t make you happy even if it were possible,” according to Brooks. “On the contrary, the most joyful, enduring romances are those that are able to evolve from passionate to companionate love—which still has plenty of passion, but is fundamentally based in deep friendship. To increase the odds of success, as your romance progresses, don’t ask yourself, “Is our passion as high as it was?” but rather, “Is our friendship deepening?”

That attitude speaks to me. When I was 25years-old, passion meant everything. Today, at the ripe old age of 64, passion is still important, but I’m mature enough now to understand the importance of friendship in a relationship. And I’ve grown enough to understand that passion with a friend is the best kind of passion.

A League Above

People using online dating can sometimes be unrealistic. They tend to overestimate their “value” as a partner and they reach out to potential dates that are out of their league.

Wait a minute. Do dating “leagues” actually exist? They do.

According to University of Michigan sociology professor Elizabeth Bruch, not only do leagues exist, but most online daters message people out of their league. “Three-quarters, or more, of people are dating aspirationally,” she says.

A recent study indicated that most people using online dating sites message potential partners who are about 25% out of their league. Bruch and her colleagues analyzed the online dating habits of 186,000 men and women, and found that the reply rate to the average message receives a response rate of between zero and ten percent. That’s horrible. But the fact that people routinely message potential mates who are 25% out of their league might explain the low reply rates. Bruch’s advice for online dating success? Note the low reply rates and send out more messages.

Stanford University sociology professor Michael Rosenfeld agrees with Bruch’s findings. “The idea that persistence pays off makes sense to me, as the online-dating world has a wider choice set of potential mates to choose from. The greater choice set pays dividends to people who are willing to be persistent in trying to find a mate.”

There’s also a gender and racial component to online dating leagues.  According to Bruch, race and gender stereotypes often get mixed up. For instance, “Asian is coded as female, so that’s why Asian women get so much market power and Asian men get so little. For black men and women, it’s the opposite.”

White men and Asian women are routinely desired more than other users. However, that’s a bit misleading. An overwhelming 70% of online dating site users are white, which tends to skew the numbers.

It’s Hard Being Old

To me, one of the most interesting aspects of the study involved age. Of course, that makes sense considering I am old. But it was also interesting because the study found a few things I would have never guessed.

For instance, when it comes to men, their desirability peaks around 50-years-old and decreases after that. That’s not good news for a 64-year old wannabe dater like me.

Women have it even worse. Their desirability peaks at 18-years old and goes down every year after that. Ouch!

“I mean, everybody knows—and as a sociologist, it’s been shown—that older women have a harder time in the dating market,” Bruch said. “But I hadn’t expected to see their desirability drop off from the time they’re 18 to the time they’re 65,”

Highly educated men are always more desirable. Men with graduate degrees are considered more desirable than men with bachelor’s degrees, and those with undergraduate degrees outperform those with high school diplomas. This may be true, but you couldn’t prove it using my experience.

Things are different for women when it comes to education level. A woman with a bachelor’s degree is considered more desirable than a woman with either a graduate degree or a high school diploma.

Having Said That…

As I mentioned at the beginning, online dating sucks. It especially sucks for people my age. But for many of us, we’re no longer into the bar scene and we either no longer work or no longer go to an office to do our jobs. Plus, many businesses frown on inter-office relationships. So, what is an older single person to do?

Online dating is like the old Sears Christmas catalog. For a young kid, flipping through the pages of the full-colored catalog could be overwhelming. And just like the catalog, most of what you see is out of your reach. But unlike the catalog, I’m only looking for one new toy, which means I need to keep sending messages to find the right toy for me.  (Okay, I’ve pushed this metaphor as far as I can and I’m afraid I’m starting to sound slightly misogynistic. I’m going to stop now.)

My point is, as bad as it is and as much as I sometime hate it, online dating is the best way to find a date, and perhaps a relationship. So, I’ll stick with it. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

 

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Three Prose Poems by Louis Jenkins

A Happy Song

We know that birds’ singing has to do with territory and breeding rights. Male birds sing to attract females and warn away other males. These songs include threat and intimidation, and perhaps, in the more complicated songs, the insinuation of legal action. It’s the grim business of earning a living in a grim world. Each song has its own subtle sound, the idiosyncracies of its singer. It turns out, though, that the females don’t really value innovation and invention and generally mate with males that sing the most ordinary, traditional tune. There is always, though, some poor sap that doesn’t get it, sitting alone on his branch practicing and polishing his peculiar version until it flows as smoothly as water through the streambed, a happy song that fills us with joy on this first warm day of the year.

Football

I take the snap from the center, fake to the right, fade back…
I’ve got protection. I’ve got a receiver open downfield…
What the hell is this? This isn’t a football, it’s a shoe, a man’s
brown leather oxford. A cousin to a football maybe, the same
skin, but not the same, a thing made for the earth, not the air.
I realize that this is a world where anything is possible and I
understand, also, that one often has to make do with what one
has. I have eaten pancakes, for instance, with that clear corn
syrup on them because there was no maple syrup and they
weren’t very good. Well, anyway, this is different. (My man
downfield is waving his arms.) One has certain responsibilities,
one has to make choices. This isn’t right and I’m not going
to throw it.

 

Black Bears

I like black bears. They are relatively common around
here, and they are usually not aggressive. Actually,
they are generally affable, loners mostly, but not
opposed to hanging out with humans now and then.
In fact, I’ve found that in many ways they are a lot
like us.

My friend, Richard, an older male, drops by now and
then and we hang out down on the shore, have a
couple of beers, but mostly we just sit and look out
at the water. We don’t have a lot to say. We aren’t
friends exactly, but we enjoy the company. Richard
says, at our age we don’t have friends. We have
associates.

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How Old Are You in Your Head?

I’m ushering in 2024 as a 64-year-old. Just typing that makes me catch my breath. As a kid, I remember listening to the Beatles sing “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?” and thinking that 64 must be impossibly old. But now I’m here, and I don’t feel impossibly old. In fact, in my head, I feel somewhere around the age of 40.

There’s a strange disconnect between how old our bodies are and how old we feel in our heads. I walk around feeling nearly 25 years younger than I actually am, but the disconnect doesn’t become obvious unless I’m talking about my age, or I look in the mirror. The mirror doesn’t lie. My head may tell me I’m one age, but the mirror doesn’t pull any punches. No matter how young I feel in my head, the mirror reminds me of my true chronological age.

Last year, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Jennifer Senior (53 in real life, 36 in her head) wrote about this phenomenon of being a different age in your head than the number of birthdays you’ve celebrated. In her article in the Atlantic, Senior wrote of a study conducted by Dr. David Rubin (75 in real life, 60 in his head), a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University. The study found that adults over 40 routinely perceive themselves to be about 20% younger than their actual age. This phenomenon—which is referred to as the Rubin-Berntsen Rule (Dorthe Berntsen co-authored the paper with Rubin)—identified this paradox, but they didn’t delve into why it occurs.

Senior offered some possibilities. She writes:

“I’m 53 in real life but suspended at 36 in my head, and if I stop my brain from doing its usual Tilt-A-Whirl for long enough, I land on the same explanation: At 36, I knew the broad contours of my life, but hadn’t yet filled them in. I was professionally established, but still brimmed with potential. I was paired off with my husband, but not yet lost in the marshes of a long marriage (and, okay, not yet a tiresome fishwife). I was soon to be pregnant, but not yet a mother fretting about eating habits, screen habits, study habits, the brutal folkways of adolescents, the porn merchants of the internet.”

Richard Primus, a constitutional law professor at the University of Michigan, like Senior, is also 53 years old, and feels 35 in his head. “I think it’s because that’s the age I was when my major life questions/statuses reached the resolutions/conditions in which they’ve since remained.” In other words, for Primus, his “head age” was set at a time when he settled into his life. His major relationship and career statuses were set, and while his body continued to age, his “head age” remained the same.

Primus went on to explain: “Medieval Christian theologians asked the intriguing question ‘How old are people in heaven?’ The dominant answer: 33. Partly because (of the) age of Jesus at crucifixion. But I think partly because it feels like a kind of peak for the combined vigor-maturity index.”

I’m not sure if the “vigor-maturity index” is a real thing or if Primus made it up. Either way, I like it. It proports to measure the age at which we feel the most physically capable while also reaching a point where our lives—primarily our relationships and careers—are reasonably set.

If you are good at math, you may have noticed that my “head age” doesn’t correspond with the Rubin-Berntsen Rule. Rather than feeling like I’m 20% younger than my actual age, I feel I’m a whopping 37.5% younger.  As Senior points out: “Internally viewing yourself as substantially younger than you are can make for some serious social weirdness…I’ve had this unsettling experience, seeing little difference between the 30-something before me and my 50-something self, when suddenly the 30-something will make a comment that betrays just how aware she is of the age gap between us, that this gap seems enormous.”

Sometimes, the large gap between actual age and “head age” can be traced to a traumatic event or meaningful life experience. For instance, one person Senior wrote about saw herself as 32, the same age her sister was when she died. Another was stuck at the “head age” of just 12, which is when her father joined a cult. Yet another had a “head age of 19 because that is the age when she became sober.

Although the Rubin-Berntsen Rule doesn’t work so well for me, the vigor-maturity index does. At 40, I was in good physical health, I was having success in my career, and I was married, with one child born and another one on the way. Life was good. Maybe the best it had ever been. It makes sense that I would feel 40 in my head.

Sadly, a few years later, my life seemed to head downhill, and it stayed that way for the next 20 years or so. I gave up a promising corporate career to start my own business (I’m still not sure if that was a smart thing to do), I battled cancer (twice), I got divorced (probably for the best), I ended another relationship (probably a mistake), and was diagnosed with a brain tumor (sounds worse than it actually is). Of course, that’s not all that has happened over the past couple of decades. During that time, I’ve also completed two masters degrees, published seven books, built a house, sold that house (again, probably a mistake), and moved to a log cabin in the woods, where I live like a recluse (both good and bad).

As I look forward to 2024, there’s so much I still want to do with my life. I have many more books to write. In fact, I have 20-25 books in various stages of development, and I’m redoubling my efforts to get them all written.

I’ve considered returning to school to get a PhD or law degree. I’ve had various people tell me I’m nuts for going back to school. They say I’m too old. But am I really? With any luck, I still have a lot of years to live. In fact, if I’m lucky, about a third of my life remains. I want this final third to be the most productive, consequential period of my life.

I’d like to travel more. There are places I’ve always wanted to go but have never made the time. I want to experience places like the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Park (and several other national parks), Alaska, Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Spain, Portugal (Okay, all of Europe), and Cuba. I’d like to return to Romania, the Virgin Islands (American and British), and spend much more time in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.

I know that’s a lot of stuff. It all takes gobs of time and effort. But it shouldn’t be all that difficult. After all, I’m only 40.

Happy New Year!

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Seven Lessons for the New Year

Welcome to 2024. It’s going to be a great year, right? Right?

I ran across a commencement address I’d like to share. The speaker, Tim Minchin, an Australian comedian, shared some ideas that I think might be helpful as we begin a new year.

I have to admit, I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. Trying to change too much too quickly rarely works. But I do like the idea of getting better, even if just a little bit. After listening to Minchin’s address to the graduating class at University of Western Australia, I’m feeling good about the coming year and the changes I’d like to work on.  Keep in mind, Minchin is addressing a group of graduating students, but much of what he has to say applies to all of us, regardless of our age or education level.

Here’s the transcript of Minchin’s “Nine Life Lessons.” Below the transcript is a video of the entire speech.

Nine Life Lessons
by Tim Minchin

Lesson #1 – You don’t have to have a dream

Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you’ve always wanted to do, or dreamed of, like in your heart, go for it. After all, it’s something to do with your time, chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it, and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead, so it won’t matter.

I never really had one of these dreams, and so I advocate passionate, dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride at whatever is in front of you. You never know where you might end up. Just be aware, the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery, which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far out in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out of the corner of your eye.

Right? Good advice. Metaphor. Look at me go.

Lesson #2 – Don’t Seek Happiness

Happiness is like an orgasm. If you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some of the side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented homo erectus got eaten before passing on their genes.

Lesson #3 – Remember, It’s All Luck

You are lucky to be here. You are incalculably lucky to be born and incredibly lucky to be brought up by a nice family that helped you get educated and encouraged you to go to uni. Or, if you were born into a horrible family, that’s unlucky and you have my sympathy, but you’re still lucky. Lucky that you happen to be made of the sort of DNA that went on to make the sort of brain which, when placed in a horrible childhood environment, would make decisions that meant that you eventually ended up graduating uni.

Well done, you, for dragging yourself up by your shoelaces. But you were lucky. You didn’t create the bit of you that dragged you up. They’re not even your shoelaces.

I suppose I worked hard to achieve whatever dubious achievements I’ve achieved, but I didn’t make the bit of me that works hard, any more than I made the bit of me that ate too many burgers instead of attending lectures when I was here at UWA (University of Western Australia). Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate. Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on intellectually.

Lesson #4 – Exercise

I’m sorry you pasty, pale, smoking philosophy grad, arching your eyebrows into a Cartesian curve, as you watch the human movement mob winding their way through them, the miniature traffic cones of their existence. You are wrong and they are right. Well, you’re half-right. You think, therefore you are. But also, you jog, so therefore you sleep. Therefore, you’re not overwhelmed by existential angst. You can’t be Kant, and you don’t want to be.

Play a sport. Do yoga. Pump iron. Run. Whatever. But take care of your body. You’re going to need it. Most of you mob are going to live to nearly a hundred, and even the poorest of you will achieve a level of wealth that most humans throughout history could not have dreamed of. And this long, luxurious life ahead of you is going to make you depressed. But don’t despair. There’s an inverse correlation between depression and exercise. Do it! Run, my beautiful intellectuals! Run!

Lesson #5 – Be Hard on Your Opinions

A famous bon mot asserts that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. There is great wisdom in this, but I would add that opinions differ significantly from assholes, and that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined.

I used to do exams in here. It’s revenge.

We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the veranda and hit them with a cricket bat. Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privileges. Most of society’s arguments are kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance. We tend to generate false dichotomies and then try to argue one point using two entirely different sets of assumptions. Like two tennis players trying to win a match by hitting beautifully executed shots from either end of separate tennis courts.

By the way, while I have science and arts graduates in front of me, please don’t make the mistake of thinking the Arts and Sciences are at odds with one another. That is a recent, stupid, and damaging idea.

You don’t have to be unscientific to make beautiful art or write beautiful things. If you need proof: Twain, Douglas, Adams, Vonnegut, McEwen, Sagan, Shakespeare, Dickens, for a start. You don’t need to be superstitious to be a poet. You don’t need to hate GM technology to care about the beauty of the planet. You don’t have to claim a soul to promote compassion.

Science is not a body of knowledge or a belief system. It is just a term which describes humankind’s incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome.

The Arts and Sciences need to work together to improve how knowledge is communicated. The idea that many Australians, including our new PM and my distant cousin, Nick Minchin, believe that science of anthropogenic global warming is controversial is a powerful indicator of the extent of our failure to communicate. The fact that 30% of the people in this room just bristled is further evidence still. The fact that that bristling has more to do with politics than science is even more despairing.

Lesson #6 – Be a Teacher

Please, please be a teacher. Teachers are the most admirable and important people in the world. You don’t have to do it forever, but if you’re in doubt of what to do, be an amazing teacher. Just for your 20s, be a teacher. Be a primary school teacher. Especially if you’re a bloke. We need male primary school teachers.

Even if you’re not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don’t take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it.

Lesson #7 – Define Yourself by What You Love

I found myself doing this thing a bit recently where if someone asked me what sort of music I like, I say, “Well, I don’t listen to the radio because pop song lyrics annoy me” or someone asks me what food I like, I say “I think truffle oil is overused and slightly obnoxious.” And I see it all the time online. People’s idea of being part of a subculture is to hate Coldplay or football or feminists or the Liberal Party. We have a tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff.

As a comedian, I make my living out of it. But try to also express your passion for things you love. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. Send thank-you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro stuff, not just anti-stuff.

Lesson #8 – Respect People with Less Power Than You

I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with—agents and producers—big decisions based largely on how they treat the waitstaff in the restaurants we’re having the meeting in. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room. I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So, there.

Lesson #9 – Don’t Rush

You don’t need to already know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. I’m not saying sit around smoking cones all day, but also, don’t panic. Most people I know who were sure of their career path at 20 are having mid-life crises now.

I said at the beginning of this ramble, which was already three-and-a-half minutes long, that life is meaningless. It was not a flippant assertion. I think it’s absurd, the idea of seeking meaning in the set of circumstances that happen to exist after 13.8 billion years’ worth of unguided events. Leave it to humans to think that the universe has a purpose for them.

However, I’m no nihilist. I’m not even a cynic. I am rather romantic, and here’s my idea of romance: You will soon be dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough, and God, it’s tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad, and then you’ll be old, and then you’ll be dead.

There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence, and that is fill it. Not filet. Fill it. And in my opinion, until I change it, life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can, taking pride in whatever you’re doing, having compassion, sharing ideas, running, being enthusiastic. And then there’s love and travel and wine and sex and art and kids and giving and mountain climbing, but you know all that stuff already.

It’s an incredibly exciting thing, this one meaningless life of yours. Good luck and thank you for indulging me.

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Have Yourself a Merry Tuba Christmas!

Back in my younger days, when my hair was long and thick, my waist was thin, and my future was bright, I was a tuba player. That’s right, that big, brass instrument seen mostly in German Oom-Pah-Pah bands.

I sat first chair in my high school band, was chosen to participate in the Fox Valley Festival Orchestra (one of my fondest tuba memories), and I was invited to join a national high school honors orchestra in Washington D.C. ( although I ultimately didn’t participate). Even though it sounds like I was a pretty good tuba player, the truth is, I was a bit of a hack. I rarely practiced and I didn’t take my playing very seriously. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it. I loved playing tuba.

Sadly, tubas and tuba players get a bad rap. In the rare movie or TV show that includes a storyline about a tuba, the tuba player is almost always a fat, nerdy kid. It’s as if the show writers are straight out saying, “Well, who else would play that big, dumb instrument?”

But it’s not a “big, dumb instrument.” It is a beautiful, bass-toned  instrument that sadly doesn’t get to take centerstage very often. But in 1974, a man named Harvey Phillips set out to change that.

Phillips, a tuba player himself, wanted to honor his teacher and mentor, the legendary William J. Bell, whose birthday just happened to be December 25. By honoring Bell, Phillips also hoped to pay tribute to all tuba players and teachers who had displayed high performance standards, professional pedagogy, and personal integrity.

According to the TubaChristmas website:

“The first TUBACHRISTMAS was conducted by Paul Lavalle in New York City’s Rockefeller Plaza Ice Rink on Sunday, December 22, 1974. Traditional Christmas music performed at the first TUBACHRISTMAS was arranged by American composer Alec Wilder who ironically died on Christmas Eve, 1980. Wilder composed many solo and ensemble compositions for tuba and euphonium. He was a loyal supporter of every effort to improve the literature and public image of our chosen instruments. Through Alec Wilder we express our respect and gratitude to all composers who continue to embrace our instruments with their compositions and contribute to the ever growing solo and ensemble repertoire for tuba and euphonium.”

Now, after 50 years of celebrating Phillips brainchild, TubaChristmas events are held in nearly every state and around the world. In 2018 in Kansas City, a TubaChristmas event set a Guinness World Record for the most tubas playing in one place at one time. On that day, 836 tubas played the Christmas classic, “Silent Night.”

Here is a video of the record-breaking event in Kansas City:

Here is the nearly hour-long concert held this year (2023) at the Kennedy Center in New York:

From this (former) tuba player to you, Merry Christmas!

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Merry Christmas, Franklin Armstrong!

Things were very different back in 1968. The war in Vietnam was raging, civil rights protests across the United States were at their zenith, and people got their news from one of three television networks or their local newspaper.

The daily newspaper was a big deal. For five cents a day (twenty-five cents on Sunday), you could find out what was going on around your town and around the world. You could also get a laugh reading the newspaper. Nearly every local newspaper included syndicated comic strips. During the week, the comics were printed in black & white. But on Sundays, they were printed in color and had their own pull out section.

Some of the more popular comics were Beetle Bailey, Marmaduke, Dennis the Menace, and the Katzenjammer Kids. Perhaps the most popular comic of all time was Peanuts. Even back in 1968, everyone knew the characters like Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, and the rest of the gang. Over time, Peanuts morphed into an international brand, being adapted into TV shows and movies, and selling a ton of merchandise.

That same year of 1968 also saw a great deal of tragedy. In April of that year, civil rights leader, Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. was gunned down as he stood on the balcony of the motel where he was staying in Memphis, TN. The nation was shocked and saddened. No one more so that Los Angeles schoolteacher, Harriet Glickman. Glickman was a follower of MLK and believed that his nonviolent approach to protesting for civil rights was making headway. Even though President Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1968 just one week after MLK’s death, Glickman feared that his murder would set back the civil rights movement.

“Glickman was disturbed by the racial upheaval that was shaking the country and wanted to do something about ‘the vast sea of misunderstanding, fear, hate, and violence’ that caused it. She believed that at a time when whites and blacks looked distrustfully at one another from across a wide racial divide, anything that could help narrow that gap could provide an immensely positive service to the nation.”

Glickman was also an avid reader of the Peanuts comic strip. Although she loved Charlie Brown and his pals, it bothered her that Peanuts did not contain any characters of color. So, on April 15–just eleven days after King’s murder and four days after Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1968–Glickman wrote a letter to Charles Schultz, the creator of Peanuts.

Peanuts was read by millions of Americans every day. But since its creation in  1950, the Peanuts comic strip had never included a black character. Glickman felt that had to change. She hoped that by adding a black character, the cultural clout enjoyed by Peanuts could help to usher in a more positive relationship between whites and blacks in America.

In part, her letter to Schultz said:“

“It occurred to me today that the introduction of Negro children into the group of Schulz characters could happen with a minimum of impact. The gentleness of the kids … even Lucy, is a perfect setting …

“I’m sure one doesn’t make radical changes in so important an institution without a lot of shock waves from syndicates, clients, etc. You have, however, a stature and reputation which can withstand a great deal.”

Schultz was sympathetic with Glickman, but wasn’t sure if he was the right person to help Glickman or if Peanuts was the right vehicle to carry her message. In part, here is how he responded to Glickman:

“Dear Mrs. Glickman:

“Thank you very much for your kind letter. I appreciate your suggestion about introducing a Negro child into the comic strip, but I am faced with the same problem that other cartoonists are who wish to comply with your suggestion. We all would like very much to be able to do this, but each of us is afraid that it would look like we were patronizing our Negro friends.

“I don’t know what the solution is.”

Rather than being discouraged, Glickman saw Schultz’s letter as a hopeful sign. She asked Schultz if he would mind if she shared his letter with some of her African-American friends to get their reaction.

Not only did Schultz not mind, he was excited to hear what Glickman’s friends had to say.

“I will be very anxious to hear what your friends think of my reasons for not including a Negro character in the strip. The more I think of the problem, the more I am convinced that it would be wrong for me to do so. I would be very happy to try, but I am sure that I would receive the sort of criticism that would make it appear as if I were doing this in a condescending manner.”

Glickman’s friends were excited at the prospect of having Schultz include a black character in his comic strip. They thought that it was important to see black people represented in a comic strip as popular as Peanuts. One African-American mother wrote:

“At this time in history, when Negro youths need a feeling of identity; the inclusion of a Negro character even occasionally in your comics would help these young people to feel it is a natural thing for Caucasian and Negro children to engage in dialogue.”

Schultz was pleased with the responses Glickman shared with him and told her that he might have a surprise for her in the July 29, 1968 comic strip. On that date, Charlie Brown went to the beach and met a young black character named Franklin.

Schultz did not pander when he introduced Franklin. There was no special announcement that a black character was being added to Peanuts. He didn’t make a big deal out of it at all. Other than his skin color, there was nothing different or special about Franklin. He was just a kid like Charlie Brown.

Glickman and her friends were thrilled with the introduction of Franklin. But not everyone was happy. Several readers wrote to Schultz and his syndicator, United Feature Syndicate. One letter said:

November 12, 1969
United Feature Syndicate
220 East 42nd Street
New York, N.Y. 10017

Gentlemen:

In today’s “Peanuts” comic strip Negro and white children are portrayed together in school.

School integration is a sensitive subject here, particularly at this time when our city and county schools are under court order for massive compulsory race mixing.

We would appreciate it if future “Peanuts” strips did not have this type of content.

Thank you.

Some Southern newspapers refused to carry the strips that included Franklin, which made United Features Syndicate nervous. The president of United Features Syndicate, Larry Rutman,  asked Schultz to leave Franklin out of future strips, but Schultz wasn’t giving in. Schultz told Rutman, “Well Larry, let’s put it this way: Either you print it just the way I draw it, or I quit. How’s that?”

Schultz had gone to great lengths not to jam Franklin down his readers’ throats. In fact, although Franklin was depicted as a black character, Schultz never discussed race in his comic strip. Franklin was simply one of the kids.

Around the same time Franklin was introduced in Peanuts, other cartoonists were taking a different tact concerning black characters. Allen Saunders, who wrote the Mary Worth comic strip, refused to include a black character for fear that “militant blacks” would protest his strip. On the other hand, Hank Ketchum, who wrote Dennis the Menace, included a black character in May 1970, but purposely modeled the character after Little Black Sambo, a racist cartoon from the 1930s.

Although Schultz’s depiction of Franklin was far more sensitive than some of his colleagues, he did not escape criticism from black readers. Some felt that Franklin was too perfect and didn’t suffer the same type of personality flaws as Schultz’s white characters. Franklin was intelligent and thoughtful, and he suffered far fewer anxieties or obsessions than the other characters. He also is the only character who doesn’t criticize or taunt Charlie Brown. Schultz did this on purpose to avoid the African-American tropes of the day and to make Franklin easier for readers–both white and black–to accept.

African-American columnist, Clarence Page, understood Schultz’s dilemma. In his Chicago Tribune column he wrote:

“Let’s face it: His perfection hampered Franklin’s character development…

“But considering the hyper-sensitivities so many people feel about any matters involving race, I did not blame Schulz for treating Franklin with a light and special touch.

“Can you imagine Franklin as, say, a fussbudget like Lucy? Or a thumb-sucking, security-blanket hugger like Linus? Or an idle dancer and dreamer like Snoopy? Or a walking dust storm like Pig Pen? Mercy. Self-declared image police would call for a boycott. If Schulz’s instincts told him his audience was not ready for a black child with the same complications his other characters endured, he probably was right.”

Franklin appeared on and off in the Peanuts comic strip for thirty years, until Schultz’s death in 1999. One person who was impacted by Franklin’s inclusion was Robb Armstrong, a young black aspiring cartoonist. When he got older, Armstrong met Schultz and the two became friends. As Schultz was working on a video that included Franklin, he realized that his character would need a last name. Schultz called Armstrong for permission to borrow his last name for Franklin. Armstrong agreed, and the rest is history.

Including Franklin in Peanuts was both a small thing and revolutionary. Schultz could have played it safe and stuck just with white characters. Instead, he not only made the hard decision to include Franklin, but did it in a way that neither relied on tropes nor “holier-than-thou” lectures. As a result, Franklin made an undeniable mark not only in comic strips, but in the wider culture, helping to usher in Glickman’s goal of changing the perceptions whites and blacks had of each other.

Merry Christmas, Franklin (and Schultz and Glickman)!

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“It’s A Wonderful Life” and The Rest of the Story

If you’ve been a follower of my blog for a while, you probably know that my favorite movie is It’s a Wonderful Life, the timeless classic from Director Frank Capra. I watch the film almost every year, usually around the holidays, and it hits me in the feelings every time I watch it.

There’s a little known story surrounding the film and it’s star, Jimmy Stewart, that I wanted to share. It speaks to the type of man Stewart was, as well as the sacrifices made by the “Greatest Generation.”

In 1941, Stewart won the Academy Award for his performance in The Philadelphia Story. At the age of 33, Stewart was one of Hollywood’s brightest stars. Yet, when the United States entered World War II, he was one of the first big-name celebrities to join the war effort. He enlisted in the U.S. Army, and as a private pilot, became an Army Air Corp aviator (This was in the days before the Air Force was a separate branch of the military).

In 1942, Stewart was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant, and, as a celebrity, was assigned to star in recruiting films, attend rallies, and train younger pilots. The assignment did not sit well with Stewart, who wanted to fly combat missions, not remain stateside. He pushed for a transfer to Europe, but was initially rebuked by his commanding officers. Stewart persisted, and in 1944, not only did he get his wish  to enter the fight, but was also promoted to Captain.

For the next 18 months, Stewart flew B-24 Liberator bombers over Germany from his base in England. His commanding officers tried to arrange it so Stewart wouldn’t fly over enemy territory, but Stewart wasn’t having it. Not only did he buck his superiors’ wishes, but as a Captain, he assigned himself to as many combat missions as possible. By the end of the war, Stewart, who completed a total of  20 combat missions, was one of the most respected and highly decorated pilots in his unit.

Unfortunately, Stewart’s service came at a high price. By the end of the war, he was grounded with, what at the time was called being “flak happy.” Today, we’d call his condition post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Stewart returned to the United States in 1945 a changed man. He had lost weight and was unusually thin, he suffered from depression, and had trouble sleeping. When he did sleep, he had horrible nightmares of planes exploding and men dying. Stewart had seen his share of planes shot out of the air and men killed. In one mission alone, his unit lost 13 planes and more than 130 men were killed. Stewart knew many of those men.

Stewart had trouble focusing and refused to discuss his war experience. He was a mess, and his acting career was all but over. A biographer of Stewart wrote, “Every decision he made [during the war] was going to preserve life or cost lives. He took back to Hollywood all the stress that he had built up.” The war was over, but for Stewart, he was fighting the aftermath of his time in combat.

In 1946, Stewart was asked to play a suicidal man in a small film entitled It’s a Wonderful Life, opposite actress Donna Reed. In the scenes where Stewart’s character, George Bailey’s life was unraveling, both actors and crew members recognized that Stewart wasn’t acting. He was reliving the horror of his time in the war.

Years later, Stewart admitted that his time filming It’s a Wonderful Life was therapeutic for him and helped him address some of the demons that were eating at him.  Of course, he went on to become one of the most accomplished and popular actors in American film history.

Unfortunately, Its a Wonderful Life was panned by critics and largely shunned by filmgoers. The film did so poorly at the box office that director Frank Capra had trouble getting the money to make other films. The movie was largely forgotten, and in 1974, due to a clerical error, Republic Pictures, owner of the rights to the film, lost its copyright. This allowed television stations to show It’s a Wonderful Life without paying royalties to Republic. The film became a staple around the holidays and gained a popularity it had never before experienced.

A Supreme Court case involving one of Stewart’s other films, Rear Window, (Stewart v Abend) allowed Republic to regain its copyright, and they subsequently signed an exclusive licensing agreement with NBC to show It’s a Wonderful Life on TV. In recent years, more and more theaters are showing the film on the big screen during the holidays.

Stewart died in 1997, but not before seeing It’s a Wonderful Life become one of the most popular of his films and one of the most beloved holiday movies in America. And despite the PTSD he suffered and the difficulties he encountered once he returned home, Stewart did not immediately leave the military. Instead, following the war, he joined the United States Air Force Reserve and was eventually promoted to the rank of Brigadier General. He finally retired in 1968, twenty-seven years after first enlisting. During his military service, Stewart was awarded two Distinguished Flying Crosses, four Air Medals with three bronze oak leaf clusters, the French Croix de Guerre with bronze palm, as well as several other commendations. In 1985, he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor.

Jimmy Stewart was among the best of his generation; a generation that fought  authoritarianism and defended freedom. And It’s a Wonderful Life went on to become a classic, beloved film, showcasing what made America a beacon of light for the world in the 1940s, and today, shows us what is still possible if we’re willing to work for it.

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Don’t Sell Me A Car. Tell Me A Story (Part IV)

It’s time for another installment of “Don’t Sell Me A Car. Tell Me A Story.” This is the fourth installment in the series. You can find previous posts here (#1), here (#2), and here (#3)

Chevrolet has come out with another holiday commercial. This one is a real tear-jerker, and as in past years, Chevrolet features an older vehicle. This year, they feature a 1972 Chevrolet Suburban.

I won’t get into the story itself. You should see it for yourself. What I will say is that commercials like this, when done properly, are incredibly powerful. The holidays are the perfect time to release this type of commercial, but I wonder if brands couldn’t benefit from them all year long. I know I’d like to see more commercials like this, and I’d like to see them at times other than just during the holidays.

Here’s Chevy’s 2023 holiday commercial. Enjoy! (And be sure to have the tissues handy.0

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