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In part 1 of this deep dive into Deadwood—the HBO show, movie,  and the Pete Dexter novel—I looked into the facts and fiction of the characters, the places, and the storylines. But part 1 only scratched the surface. In part 2, I look at several more real life characters and their stories. I also include a list of those characters that played a role in the HBO series, but who were strictly fictional.

Wyatt Earp played a small part in the HBO show. Wyatt and his brother, Morgan, arrive in camp claiming some heroic deed (the specifics escape me at the moment). When Morgan shoots one of the men Hearst has hired to create chaos among the citizenry, Bullock suggests the Earp brothers leave town. They agree and are never heard from again.

This episode never occurred, but in real life, Wyatt Earp did have two interactions with Deadwood. The first occurred in September 1876 when Wyatt and Morgan arrived in Deadwood planning to lease a mining claim. However, when they arrived, there were no claims to be leased. Morgan decided to return to Dodge City (from whence they had come, and where Wyatt had been a deputy marshal), and Wyatt stayed for the winter, hauling wood into camp with his team of horses. When no mine lease came available in the spring, Wyatt also returned to Dodge City.

Wyatt’s path crossed with Bullock’s in 1905 after President Theodore Roosevelt appointed Bullock U.S. Marshal for South Dakota. Earp was interested in becoming the sheriff in Deadwood, but Bullock was opposed to the idea. Earp, who was a deputy marshal in Dodge City with a reputation for heavy-handed enforcement of the law, traveled to Deadwood, only to be told by Bullock that they wouldn’t be needing his services. There was some fear that Earp wouldn’t react well to Bullock’s rejection, but Earp stayed calm. He simply returned to Dodge City, never to return to Deadwood again.

Although George Hearst wasn’t mentioned in Dexter’s book, the TV show and movie made him out to be one of the biggest villains in Deadwood history. So, what did they get right?

George Hearst was incredibly wealthy from his mining interests in California, Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, and Montana, as well as from the Homestake Mine near Deadwood. He also became a senator in California, as was portrayed in Deadwood: The Movie.

Hearst was known to be ruthless when it came to his mining interests, having his employees beaten and challenging anyone who stood in his way. However, there’s no reason to believe that he was as violent as he was portrayed in the TV show. For the most part, Hearst tried to get along with the locals in any of the towns where he held mining leases.

Hearst did send an agent to Deadwood to investigate the possibility of buying mine claims. However, his name was not Francis Wolcott and he did not kill a prostitute. The real-life agent’s name was L.D. Kellogg. Kellogg is the man who purchased the Homestake claim for $70,000 from Mose Manuel, Fred Manuel and Hank Harney on behalf of George Hearst.

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Fun Fact: The same actor, Garrett Dillahunt, played Jack McCall and Francis Wolcott in the HBO series, Deadwood. He also played an unnamed angry drunk in Deadwood: The Movie

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One person I haven’t mentioned yet is E.B Farnum. In the TV show, E.B. was portrayed as a bit of a buffoon, eccentric and endlessly greedy. He owned the Grand Central Hotel, which he eventually sold to George Hearst for $100,000. In real life, he was anything but a buffoon.

Ethan Bennett (E.B.) Farnum was born in 1826 in Massachusetts. He moved to Wisconsin and was appointed postmaster of Walworth County.  In 1876, he moved his wife and three kids to Deadwood, where he was one of the first non-mining residents. Rather than a hotel, Farnum opened a general store upon arriving in Deadwood. Sensing the growth of the town, he also acquired several vacant lots on Main Street. He was instrumental in convincing the U.S. Army to locate a camp near Deadwood, and he was the driving force behind raising taxes that helped fund a pest house (to quarantine those with smallpox) and a toll road, to ensure the town would be able to get the supplies they needed. The taxes also helped Farnum in establishing a system of street cleaning, a fire department, a public school, and telegraph facilities.

Farnum was the first mayor of Deadwood, and he served as the head of the school board. He also served as justice of the peace. However, shortly after losing his bid to remain justice of the peace, he and his family moved to Chicago. It’s unclear exactly when they left, but it appears that Farnum was still in Deadwood for the big fire in September 1879. After Chicago, Farnum moved to Maury County, Tennessee, where he is believed to have died.

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Fun Fact: In the HBO series, the “E.B.” in E.B. Farnum stands for Eustace Bailey.

In real life, it stands for Ethan Bennett

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John Sewell (Jack) Langrishe is a fairly odd character in the TV show, the book, and in real life. Just as in real life, the book and TV show portrayed Jack as a stage actor and proprietor of a theater company. In the book, Dexter made it clear that Jack was gay. It wasn’t quite as clear in the TV show, although others claim it was obvious he was gay. In real life, Jack wasn’t gay, or at least there’s no reason to think he was gay. He was married, and he and his wife were partners in the theater company.

Before building a permanent theater, Jack’s theater company operated out of the Bella Union. They continued to entertain Deadwood residents until the great Deadwood fire in 1879. Jack and wife moved to Leadville, Colorado where they performed at the Tabor Opera House. Eventually, they moved to Idaho, where Jack gave up the stage and turned to politics, serving first as justice of the peace in Coeur d’Alene, and then as a state senator. In 1892, he founded the Wardner News newspaper in Wardner, Idaho. He died there in 1895.

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Fun Fact: On the HBO series, the Bella Union was a bar, gambling hall, and brothel. In real life,

it was a grand theater that featured plays, concerts, and boxing matches.

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I talked a little bit about Sol Star previously, but let’s look a little closer at the man and the character. In the TV show, Sol was in love with Trixie, a prostitute at the Gem Theater. In the book, he was in love with a Chinese prostitute. This was apparently out of character for Sol (he had a wife back in Montana). Bullock did his best to protect his friend and business partner, but that didn’t stop Sol from tracking down the prostitute’s killer and returning the favor.

Of course, none of this is true. In real life, Sol was a pillar of the community. He was a successful businessman who served Deadwood on the first town council, became town postmaster, and served for fourteen years as mayor. He was elected to the South Dakota House of Representatives in 1889, serving two years, then served as Lawrence County Clerk of Courts for twenty years. He died in 1917 in Deadwood.

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Fun Fact: The fire of 1879 destroyed more than 300 buildings in Deadwood

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Dan Doherty (spelled Dority in the HBO series) and Johnny Burns were both based on real people. They both worked for Al Swearengen at the Gem Theater. In real life, Johnny was known as a box herder, the person in charge of the prostitutes at a brothel. Unlike the gentle-hearted character in the HBO show, Johnny was actually quite brutal. He was known to routinely abuse his charges in order to keep them in line.

Dan Doherty worked as general manager of the Gem Theater and, like Johnny Burns, was hard on the prostitutes that worked there. However, Dan had bigger ambitions in real life than he had on the show. In 1877, after having a falling out with Swearengen, Dan quit the Gem and started his own saloon with Johnny Cooley. He later married, eventually moving with his wife to Nevada.

Calamity Jane Cannery is an unusual character, both in real life and in fiction. She worked as a scout for the U.S. Army, was an Indian fighter, as well as an occasional prostitute at several different brothels. Jane was known to be a nurse and comforter to the sick, including those suffering from smallpox in Deadwood’s pest tents. She married “Wild Bill” Hickok, and they had one child, a daughter, who was adopted by an Army captain and his wife..

What is fact and what is fiction when it comes to Calamity Jane is difficult to determine. Much of what is known about her comes from an autobiographical pamphlet she dictated for publicity purposes. Almost all of her claims are challenged, including her marriage to Wild Bill.

Those close to Bill claimed that he had no use for Jane. However, in 1941, a woman by the name of Jean Hickok Burkhardt McCormick applied for and was granted old age assistance by the U.S. Department of Public Welfare. At the time, she claimed that she was the biological daughter of Martha Jane “Calamity Jane” Cannery and James Butler “Wild Bill” Hickok. To prove her assertion, she presented a family Bible that contained documentation of Jane and Bill’s 1873 marriage at Benson’s Landing, Montana Territory. The Bible was signed by two ministers and several witnesses.

McCormick published a book of letters that purportedly were written by Jane and sent to McCormick. The letters spoke of Jane’s love for Bill, their marriage, and McCormick’s adoption. However, there is reason to believe those letters were forgeries. Jane was illiterate, barely able to write her name. Because of this, many historians dispute the authenticity of McCormick’s letters.

What we do know for certain about Jane was that she was an alcoholic. There are many stories about her drinking and public drunkenness. On the final day of her life, Jane was riding on an ore train to Terry, South Dakota, drinking heavily. She took sick and had to be carried from the train to her room at the Calloway Hotel, where she died. She was just fifty-one years old. As was her dying wish, she is buried next to Wild Bill at Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Deadwood.

In the HBO series, Jane is portrayed as gay, entering into a relationship with Joanie Stubbs, a prostitute and brothel owner. Joanie is a fictional character, and there is little reason to believe that Jane was a lesbian in real life.

Also in the HBO series, Jane befriended an African-American man by the name of Samuel Fields, who claimed to be a General in the Union Army during the Civil War. Fields was a real person who lived in Deadwood at the same time Jane was there. However, it is unknown if their paths crossed or if they were friends.

In the show, Fields also interacts with Aunt Lou, George Hearst’s black cook. Hearst brings her with him when he settles in Deadwood. Although Aunt Lou is a real person, she didn’t work for George Hearst.

Lucretia “Aunt Lou” Marchbanks was born a slave in Tennessee. She traveled with the daughter of her master, first to Colorado, then to California, where she lived and worked in gold camps. She returned to Tennessee following the Civil War, a free woman.

Life in the gold camps appealed to her, so she traveled west once again to Deadwood, finding work as the kitchen manager at the Grand Central Hotel. Because of Aunt Lou, the Grand Central became known much more as a restaurant than a hotel. After leaving the Grand Central, Aunt Lou worked for a succession of mine superintendents before landing a job as a cook at the Golden Gate Mine in Lead, South Dakota. From there, she went to work as the manager of Rustic Hotel at the DeSmet Mine, before going to work in a boarding house owned by Harry Gregg.

In 1883, Aunt Lou started her own hotel and restaurant near Deadwood. Her cooking and hospitality were well known, being written about in the Black Hills Mining News, and spoken about at the New York Stock Exchange. She even won a diamond ring when she was voted the most popular woman in the Black Hills.

In 1885, Aunt Lou sold her hotel and moved to Rockyford, Wyoming where she started a cattle and horse ranch. She managed the ranch until her death in 1911.

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Fun Fact: As many as 400 Chinese lived in Deadwood in an area known as the “Badlands.”

They had their own mayor and city council, as well as their own police and fire departments.

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Albert Walter (A.W.) Merrick was born in New York and moved to Nebraska, where he owned and published the Cuming City Star. Although records are scarce, it appears that he sold the newspaper in 1860 and went off to fight with the Union Army during the Civil War. Upon his return, he re-purchased the newspaper and continued to publish it until he moved to the Black Hills of South Dakota.

In the HBO series, Merrick was portrayed as a bumbling fool. Not so in real life. In 1876 he started the Black Hills Weekly Pioneer newspaper with W.A. Laughlin. He was married and had five children. His oldest, a son, died in Deadwood in 1880.

A.W. Merrick died in 1902 in Deadwood and is buried in the Mt. Moriah Cemetery. The re-named Black Hills Pioneer is still in operation today.

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Fun Fact: Jack Langrishe’s theater company put on shows at the Bella Union

before building their own theater

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Tom Nuttall is portrayed in the HBO series as one of Deadwood’s first residents. This is historically accurate. Nuttall co-owned Nuttall’s and Mann’s No. 10 Saloon, the bar where Wild Bill Hickok was killed. The following year, Nuttall partnered with Tom Miller, the owner of the Bella Union in Deadwood. Nuttall managed the business before following the mining boom to Leadville, Colorado, where he opened another establishment called the Bella Union. Things started to unravel for Nuttall in Leadville. His wife left him, and he moved on to New Mexico. In 1882, he was arrested for a gambling violation. Little is known about Nuttall after his arrest.

In the HBO show, Reverend Henry Weston Smith was an itinerant preacher who wandered around Deadwood preaching the gospel and doing good deeds for its citizens. When he gets sick, Doc Cochran diagnoses him with a lesion on his brain. The lesion makes the good reverend speak nonsensically and have frequent seizures. He eventually loses his ability to walk or stand. The lesion eventually kills him. However, in real life, that’s not how Reverend Smith’s life ended.

Henry Weston Smith was born in Connecticut. He was married in 1847, and in 1848, his young wife and infant son died. In his grief, he turned to religion, becoming a Methodist minister. He remarried several years later and had four children. He served in the Union Army during the Civil War and became a doctor. In 1876, Reverend Smith became the first minister in the Black Hills. He did not have a church, instead ministering to his flock in the streets. In August 1876, Reverend Smith, along with three other men, were attacked and killed by Indians between Deadwood and Crook City. Smith was forty-nine years old at the time of his death. He is buried in the Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Deadwood.

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Fun Fact: Martha Bullock (Seth’s wife) is credited with bringing arts and culture to Deadwood

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In the HBO show, Con Stapleton is partners in crime with his friend, Leon, an opium addict and sometimes dealer. They both work for Cy Tolliver, owner of the Bella Union. However, Leon and Cy are both fictional characters. Con, on the other hand, was very real (although the horrible hernia he suffered from in the show probably wasn’t).

In the show, Con is appointed the first Sheriff of Deadwood after begging Al Swearengen for the job (along with Tom Nuttall’s help). In real life, Con, who emigrated from Ireland, was elected sheriff after the previous sheriff, Isaac Brown, was killed by Indians in the same attack that killed Reverend Smith.

Stapleton was at the table playing cards when Wild Bill was killed by Jack McCall. But that wasn’t the only interesting event he was involved in while in Deadwood. As sheriff, Stapleton was in a bar when a man with a gun came running in. The man threatened several patrons before Sheriff Stapleton tried to disarm him. Stapleton grabbed the gun and wrestled it away from the man, but not before the gun discharged and struck David Lunt, a friend of Stapleton’s. The bullet entered Lunt’s forehead and exited the back of his head, knocking him to the ground. Everyone was amazed when Lunt stood up and claimed he was fine. More than two months later, Lunt was still alive. However, he began to experience terrible headaches, and eventually died, sixty-seven days after being shot in the head.

Stapleton remained sheriff for about a year, but after Seth Bullock was appointed county sheriff, many of Stapleton’s previous duties were assumed by Bullock. As a result, the town sheriff position was eliminated. Out of a job, Stapleton moved to Leadville, Colorado along with others who were following the mining rush. Sadly, Stapleton died from unknown causes eight months after arriving in Colorado. He was just thirty-one years old.

There were several characters in the HBO show that didn’t actually exist in real life. They include (in alphabetical order):

Silas Adams

Blazanov

William Bullock

Claudia

Doc Cochran

Andy Cramed

Whitney Ellsworth

Steve Fields

Alma Garret

Brom Garret

Hawkeye

Hostetler

Hugo Jarry

Alice Isringhausen

Jewel

Leon

Maddie

Harry Manning

Sofia Metz (The Metz family was massacred, just like in the HBO series. However, an adult male survived the attack, not a young girl.)

Pete Richardson

Eddie Sawyer

Joanie Stubbs

Cy Tolliver

Captain Joe Turner

Trixie (There was at least one prostitute in Deadwood named Trixie (or Trixsie), but it doesn’t appear the Trixie in the HBO show is based on her.)

Francis Wolcott

Caroline Woolgarden

Mr. Wu

 

There’s a guy I follow on Twitter by the name of Craig Calcaterra. Craig is an interesting guy. He’s nominally a sportswriter, writing about baseball for NBC Sports, but he writes at least as much about politics as he does baseball. He is an unapologetic liberal who is surprisingly even-handed in his criticism of politicians of all stripes who put their own interests ahead of their constituents.

Craig is a lawyer by training, and he appears to have more than his fair share of neuroses, which he is very open and honest about in his writing. During the current pandemic we are living through, he has been keeping an online diary of what life is like in the time of COVID-19. I have really enjoyed his diary entries. Sometimes, they make me feel better, knowing that what I am going through is being shared by millions of other people. Sometimes, his diary entries make me sad or angry, particularly when he points out how chaotic and ineffective the federal government’s response to the pandemic has been. Unlike Craig, I normally don’t write about politics, but even the most apolitical observer can see how incompetent the POTUS and his minions have been during this crisis.

A friend of Craig’s who is an amateur genealogist and historian made the comment to him that lots of people are writing about official COVID-19 statistics and taking photos of the meals they are making, but those aren’t things that people in the future will want to know about our current pandemic. As a result, Craig’s friend came up with a questionnaire that is designed to elicit more relevant information about our lives during this time of crisis. I’ve answered the questions below. I’d encourage you to do the same.

When was the last day you went into work?

I don’t remember the exact date, but it was in early March. I own a small business, and I usually don’t go into the office unless there is a specific reason for me to be there. We closed the office to face-to-face meetings on March 17, 2020 as a result of the pandemic, and it has remained closed since then. However, we continue operating, working with customers over the phone and via email.

When did your state or city order everyone to stay at home?

My business is in Wisconsin, but I’ve been riding out the pandemic in Florida. In Wisconsin, we were encouraged early on to stay at home. However, people in my small community got ahead of the curve and started shutting down even before Governor Evers issued his order. The people in our county have been fantastic about following the order and being smart. As a result, we still have not recorded a single case of coronavirus.

Florida is another story. Until the past few days, Governor DeSantis has been reluctant to issue a stay-at-home order. As a result, beaches have been crowded (especially during spring break), stores have remained busy, and people have continued to go out and about. That has been changing little by little. People have started to act more appropriately to the times, and the Governor finally issued a stay-at-home order last week, after Florida began showing signs that the virus was getting a foothold in the state.

Has there been a particular change to your lifestyle that has been difficult to make or accept?

Overall, no. I spend a good deal of time by myself, writing, so the pandemic hasn’t changed that. However, I often go to restaurants or bars with friends, and that has stopped. I miss it, and I look forward to eventually getting back out for a good meal and a few drinks. The sacrifices I have made have been small and of little consequence to my lifestyle.

What do you miss most?

I miss seeing my girlfriend and my kids. My girlfriend lives over an hour away from me, and until recently, she worked a medical job where she dealt, hands-on, with elderly people. It didn’t seem like a good idea to drive up to see her, considering the circumstances. She was furloughed a little over a week ago, but we still haven’t seen each other. My kids are in Tennessee. My daughter lives in Nashville and my son is a student at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. We text with each other every day, but I miss seeing them, which I did every 4-8 weeks before the pandemic.

What is the most unusual thing you have noticed since the crisis began?

There are a couple of things. First, the run on toilet paper seems weird to me. Stockpiling toilet paper is the sign of a very confused, desperate nation. Which leads right into the second weird thing I’ve noticed. It’s weird to me that any politician or leader could not only be so inept at running a crisis operation, but that every day, they would double down on their ineptitude. I can understand making mistakes, even though most of the mistakes I have seen are far from innocent, but I can’t understand making mistakes, having those mistakes pointed out in the press, and then going to great lengths the following day to magnify them. As a nation, we are witnessing a lack of leadership and a plethora of incompetence like we have never seen in our county’s history. It is embarrassing, disgraceful, and indefeasible.

Do you know anyone who has COVID-19?

Two people. One is a friend’s mother. Although I hope and pray for the best for her, I fear the worst. She is elderly and not in the best of health to begin with. I fear that her immune system will not stand a chance against the virus. I hope I’m wrong.

The second person is me, or, at least I think I had it. I’m hesitant to say this because I don’t want to shine a spotlight on me or gain any sympathy. That’s not my goal. However, I went on a cruise at the beginning of December and got really sick while out at sea. I had a horrible sore throat, fever, body aches, and shortness of breath. I also had a weird rattle in my throat that I’ve never experienced before.

The symptoms continued after I returned home, and I eventually went to the doctor. I was tested for the flu, strep throat, and pneumonia, but all the tests came back negative. I was given antibiotics for an assumed sinus infection, but they didn’t help. The symptoms continued through December and January, finally going away in early February. Did I have COVID-19? We’ll never know for sure. All I know is that I was much sicker than I ever have been with the flu, and I just couldn’t shake the symptoms.

Do you know anyone who has died from complications from COVID-19?

No.

How long do you think it will be before the stay-at-home order is lifted in your community?

In Wisconsin, I wouldn’t be surprised if the order continues through the end of May, maybe around Memorial Day or June 1. I wouldn’t be surprised if in Florida, the order is lifted at the end of April. The government in Florida has really not taken the pandemic as seriously as they should. Governor DeSantis seems to be of the mind that the necessary cure (social distancing) is worse than the disease. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if he lifted the stay-at-home order as a way of rescuing the economy, the virus and the people it impacts be damned.

Will you immediately return to your normal routine after the stay-at-home order is lifted? Or will you wait before returning to normal? If you’ll wait, how much longer will you do so?

I think I’ll probably go back to my normal routine—or something close to it—once the stay-at-home order is lifted. I miss seeing my loved ones, and I know I’ll be anxious to visit them, whether the stay-at-home order is lifted in April, May, or sometime beyond. Having said that, I won’t be rushing out if it looks like the order is lifted prematurely. Getting back to the old routine will have to make sense.

What’s the first thing you want to do once the stay-at-home order is lifted?

Take my girlfriend out for a good, restaurant-prepared meal. Then, I want to go see my kids. Somewhere in between, I need to get a haircut.

Have you been ordering food out from local restaurants (carry-out or delivery)?

Some, but not as much as I should. I’m concerned about the local restaurants. I’d like to keep ordering from them to help them through this tough time, but I also have health concerns with doing that. It’s a struggle I think about every day. I fear that many restaurants will not be able to come back after the pandemic has ended. The restaurant business is super tough to begin with. Add in a month or three of a pandemic, and it becomes even tougher. I should order pizza this weekend.

How often have you been going to the grocery store?

I go every 10-14 days. I’ve done a poor job of planning out my meals. If I did a better job, I could probably go less often.

Will you wear a mask when you go out?

Probably not. For some reason, I view wearing a mask out in public as a type of surrender. That’s probably a weird way to view it, but it seems like a step too close to living in a post-apocalyptic world. I’m not ready to accept that yet.

Do you think other people have been taking this crisis seriously?

Overall, yes. Speaking generally, I think most people have done a fantastic job of social distancing and being responsible. However, there are those people who have made light of what we are going through.

On a micro level, my own girlfriend has refused to stay home the way she should. She routinely runs out to stores, walks around her neighborhood talking to neighbors, and visits her daughter and grandchild often. I completely understand her desire to get out and about. She is not the type of person who easily sits and does nothing. However, we live in unusual times, and I’m not sure it’s a  good idea to continue old routines (She’s going to kill me when she reads this).

On a macro level, there have been a lot of politicians and political pundits who have not taken this pandemic nearly seriously enough. To name a few:

• Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) insisted on working out in a closed gym, even after being tested. His excuse was that he hadn’t yet been told he had coronavirus. After infecting the gym, he got the word that he tested positive.
• Bill de Blasio, mayor of New York, has done a couple of different boneheaded things, despite the fact that he is mayor of the city that is at the epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak in the United States.
• And there are many, including the President, who have referred to the pandemic as a hoax, a liberal plot to bring down the president, and no worse than the flu.
• Many of these people, including Rep. Devin Nunes (R-California), have continued making irresponsible statements despite contradictory scientific evidence.
• Fox News has been among the worst offenders, spreading misinformation that is based totally in fantasy. They have contradicted easily verifiable evidence in an attempt to prop up the POTUS. In the process, they have endangered the lives of millions of Americans.

Do you think people have been over-reacting to this situation?

Generally speaking, no. Considering the circumstances, it’s hard to overreact. I did read a story this morning about a couple that committed murder-suicide because they thought the wife had coronavirus. As it turned out, she didn’t. But even if she had, a murder-suicide pact is an overreaction.

How many people do you think will eventually die from COVID-19?

In the United States, I expect that we will see deaths in the high five figure range, maybe 75,000 – 90,000 COVID-19 related deaths. However, with the way we are testing, severely limiting the number of people who can get tested, it will be difficult to determine who actually died from COVID-19. I think we’ll have an official count of around 75,000 – 90,000, but the actual figure will be much higher.

Do you think schools will reopen this year?

I don’t think so. It seems like an unnecessary risk.

Do you think that summer sports like baseball will occur?

I read this morning that MLB is considering a plan to run an abbreviated season using spring training ballparks in Arizona as the location for the games. I love baseball and want to see the season get underway. But honestly, forcing the season to take place, even an abbreviated season, under the current conditions, seems irresponsible. Think about the number of people that would be necessary to run each game. There are 25 players on each team, managers, coaches, training staff, equipment staff, umpires, catering service people, TV broadcast crews, etc. That’s easily 100 people or more in close proximity to one another. Multiply that by fifteen games per day. And what happens when the first person is diagnosed with coronavirus. Are the games cancelled and the participants quarantined? To me, it seems like too much of a risk. However, there’s a lot of money on the line, so it will probably happen.

What is one thing you’ve done during this crisis that you don’t usually do?

I’m eating at home much more often. Although I miss going out, I have to admit that I’ve enjoyed cooking my own food and eating at home. I’ve even saved a little money. I’ve also started watching online auto racing on TV and YouTube. I’ve enjoyed it more than I expected.

Is there anything that has changed in your life since this crisis began that you hope to keep after the crisis ends?

I think I’ll probably eat at home more often, and I might continue to watch online auto racing. I hope I don’t sit around as much as I have  during the pandemic. I’m getting too used to doing nothing.

In 1968, Kurt Vonnegut publish a short story collection entitled Welcome to The Monkey House. The most mainstream of the stories, “Long Walk to Forever,” wasn’t his favorite. In fact, he disliked the story and was afraid it would overshadow his other work in the collection.

Vonnegut wrote the story as a sort-of tribute to his relationship with Jane Cox, the woman he pursued and married after returning home from a prisoner of war camp in Dresden, Germany following World War II. The story, which is semi-autobiographical, is about a soldier who goes AWOL to convince, in his own way, a woman to abandon her fiancé and marry him.

“Long Walk to Forever” was originally published in Ladies Home Journal, which only made Vonnegut dislike the story more. In the introduction to the story in Welcome to the Monkey House, Vonnegut wrote:

“In honor of the marriage that worked I include in this collection a sickeningly slick love story from The Ladies Home Journal, God help us, entitled by them “Long Walk to Forever.’ The title I gave it, I think, was “Hell to Get Along With.”

In a New York Times review, critic Michael Levitas didn’t care much for the story either. He wrote:

“This Vonnegut is obviously a lovable fellow. Moreover, he’s right about the story, which is indeed a sickening and slick little nothing about a soldier who goes AWOL in order—How to say it?—to sweep his girl from the steps of the alter into his strong and loving arms.”

Despite the author’s and critic’s disdain for the story, several people have adapted Vonnegut’s story to create short films. It’s amazing how different the interpretations are. The first one is from filmmaker David Seininger and was made in 1996. It remains very close to Vonnegut’s actual story.

The second one comes from director Dale Watts. He moves the story to England, but otherwise makes few changes.

The third film comes from director Travis Jones. He has a much more modern, urban interpretation. He also took the unusual approach of not having any dialogue. Even so, the story still works.

Long Walk To Forever from Travis Jones on Vimeo.

Jordan Bianchi’s interpretation is another unusual one. His film has what I would call “montage dialogue” (I just made up that phrase) to tell the story. I didn’t think it was particularly effective, but you may disagree.

Finally, director Jessica Hester offers a very straight-forward, period appropriate take on Vonnegut’s story. Below is the trailer to her film. You can find the full film here.

In an earlier post, I confessed my love for the HBO series, Deadwood. The series was near-perfect, in both character development and storytelling. One of the things I noted about the show in that earlier post was that almost everything about the show felt realistic. What I meant by that was that the people running Deadwood never strayed too far outside the bounds of history and believability. Many of the characters were real. They had actually lived and participated in the early days of Deadwood and the Dakota Territory.

Many years ago, I read a novel entitled Deadwood by Pete Dexter (published in 1986). Like the HBO series, Dexter’s novel was gritty and realistic. After watching the series for a second time, I re-read Dexter’s book. I liked it just as much as I did the first time (five stars on Goodreads), but I noticed differences, both big and small, between the book and the TV show.

I often wondered if David Milch and the creators of the HBO show used Dexter’s book as research or inspiration. I had the good fortune to have a Twitter conversation about this with W. Earl Brown, the actor who played Dan Dority, and is a continuing promoter of the HBO series. He was not only an actor, he also was a writer on the show, earning a Writers Guild of America Award nomination in the process.

Brown indicated that after securing his role, he purchased a copy of Dexter’s book. However, before he could read it, David Milch encouraged everyone involved with the show not to read any works of fiction related to Deadwood. Milch said he didn’t want other’s fiction to subliminally guide the work they were doing on the show. Brown commented that enough time has passed now, and he’d like to read the book.

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Fun Fact: W. Earl Brown received an MFA in Acting from The Theater School at DePaul University.

His classmates included John C. Reilly and Gillian Anderson.

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One of the things that interests me most about Deadwood—both the show and the book—is who was real and who wasn’t. And of those characters that were real, how accurate the portrayal was compared to their real lives.

For instance, we know that Wild Bill Hickok was a real person. He was born James Butler Hickok in 1837 in Homer, Illinois, about a hundred miles west-southwest of Chicago. Since then, the town has been renamed Troy Grove. He left Illinois at the age of 18 after a getting into a fight with a man named Charles Hudson. He mistakenly thought he had killed Hudson and hightailed it to Kansas to avoid arrest.

He took on his brother’s name, “William”—presumably while running from the law—and gave himself the nickname “Wild Bill.” The reason he gave himself a nickname was because he didn’t like the nicknames others gave him. For instance, he had been called “Duck Bill” because of his long nose and protruding lips. He had also been called “Shanghai Bill” because of his height and slim build.

In March 1876, Hickok married Agnes Thatcher Lake, a circus proprietor eleven years his senior. A few months later he departed for Deadwood. He had been diagnosed with glaucoma shortly before marrying, and he was going to Deadwood for the supposed purpose of staking a gold claim.

Hickok arrived in Deadwood as part of Charlie Utter’s wagon train in July 1876. Also on that wagon train was Martha Jane Cannery, better known as Calamity Jane. Rather than working to stake a claim, Bill spent his time gambling.

On August 1, 1876, Bill was playing poker at Nuttal & Mann’s Saloon No. 10. Also at the table was a man by the name of Jack McCall. Bill won a lot of money from McCall that day, and when McCall, drunk and dejected, quit the game, Bill offered him enough money to get breakfast. McCall took the money, but was insulted that Bill treated him like a charity case.

The following day, Bill was again at Nuttal & Mann’s, but his usual seat was taken, so he sat in another chair with his back to the room. He didn’t see McCall enter the bar, come up behind him, and point a gun at his head. McCall screamed, “Damn you! Take that!” and shot Bill in the back of the head, killing him instantly. At the time of his death, Bill was holding two pair, eights and aces. Since then, that hand has been known as “dead man’s hand.”

In the HBO show, they stick pretty close to the actual story, although they exaggerated the number and intensity of the interactions between Hickok and McCall. The book takes a different tact. Dexter ignored the true story and had McCall kill Hickok at the behest of someone else.

In both the book and the TV show, Bill writes a letter to his wife shortly before his death. In the letter, he writes, “Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife—Agnes—and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore.” According to the book, Famous Last Words by Laura Ward, Bill, in fact, did write those words in a letter to his wife shortly before his death.

Because of this letter, and the fact that Bill uncharacteristically sat with his back to the room, some historians posit that Bill was suicidal, inviting someone to shoot him. They argue that, because of his worsening glaucoma, Bill could not stomach the thought of being dependent on others to see for him. In addition, the glaucoma took away his only two ways of making a living, shooting and playing cards.

Although the HBO series stuck to the storyline of Bill losing his eyesight, the Dexter book intimated that, in addition to failing eyesight, Bill had prostate problems and/or venereal disease, although Dexter never called it that. Instead, Bill went to a doctor for a “blood disease” that effected his urinary tract, making it difficult to urinate. The cure prescribed to him was mercury, rubbed liberally over his body. Of course, we know now that mercury causes illness, it doesn’t cure it. The treatment sounds horrible, potentially worse than the disease, but it appears that Bill didn’t suffer this fate in real life.

Little is known about Hickok’s assassin, Jack McCall. He was born in the 1850s in Kentucky, and eventually moved west to hunt buffalo. In the show, McCall was a degenerate gambler and drunk. In the book, he was a cat wrangler, working for a business that rented cats to people with rat or mouse problems. McCall was the one who rounded up the cats and delivered them to customers. In both the show and the book, McCall was mentally weak, if not brain damaged. In real life, he was cowardly, but there’s no indication he was mentally challenged.

After shooting Hickok, McCall was tried by an impromptu court in Deadwood and found not guilty. He claimed that he had shot Hickok as revenge for Hickok shooting his brother. However, records indicate that McCall did not have a brother. He left Deadwood and relocated to the Wyoming Territory, where he bragged about killing Hickok. Unfortunately for him, Wyoming authorities arrested him again, claiming that the court in Deadwood didn’t have jurisdiction. McCall was transferred to Yankton, South Dakota where he was convicted of murder. In March 1877, Wild Bill’s killer was hanged.

In the HBO show, Seth Bullock and Charlie Utter set out after McCall when he flees Deadwood following his acquittal in the first trial. However, that’s not how it happened. To be sure, Hickok and Utter were friends. At the time of Hickok’s murder, Utter was out of town. In the book, he had traveled to Cheyenne to challenge the current pony express company to a race in a bid to take over their business. Utter wins the race, but, heartbroken over Wild Bill’s death, he never does start up a delivery company.

In the HBO show, again, Utter is in Cheyenne competing for the pony express business. When he returns, after avenging Bill’s murder, he starts a delivery company.

As for Bullock, it’s unlikely he ever really met Hickok in real life. He arrived in camp on August 1, 1876 and Hickock was killed the very next day. The TV show portrayed a mutual respect and budding friendship between Bullock and Hickok before the latter’s death. In the book, Bullock and Hickok met in passing, but there was very little interaction between them.

The real Seth Bullock was an interesting guy. He was born in Canada in 1849 and moved to Montana in 1865 to live with his sister. He was elected sheriff of Louis and Clark County, Montana where he engaged in a gun battle with a horse thief named Clell Watson. Bullock took a bullet to the shoulder, but successfully apprehended the horse thief. Watson was scheduled to be hanged, but a mob showed up in support of Watson and drove away the executioner. Bullock fought off the mob with a shotgun and carried out the hanging himself. This incident is very similar to an incident portrayed in the TV show, except it happened years later in Deadwood. The book did not mention Bullock’s life before Deadwood.

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Fun Fact: While serving in the Montana Territorial Legislature, Seth Bullock helped create Yellowstone National Park

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Bullock and his friend, Sol Star, opened a hardware store in Helena, but soon decided their fortunes lie in the Black Hills of South Dakota where there was a gold rush taking place. They arrived in Deadwood in August 1876, bought a lot, and started “Star and Bullock, Auctioneers and Commission Merchants,” first in a tent, then in a building. In the book, Star and Bullock own a brick making business, but in reality, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

The TV show portrayed Bullock as a reluctant sheriff. However, law enforcement was his chosen profession. And, despite all the gunplay in both the show and the book, Bullock never killed anyone as sheriff, although he did have several run-ins with Al Swearengen, the owner of the Gem Theater. Unlike in the HBO series, Bullock was not the sheriff of Deadwood, but instead was appointed the first sheriff of Lawrence County, South Dakota.

In the HBO show, Bullock married his dead brother’s wife, Martha, as an act of mercy. She and the dead Bullock had a son named William. Shortly after arriving in Deadwood, William is killed by a stampeding horse. In real life, although Bullock was married to a woman named Martha, the rest of the TV portrayal is fiction. There was no dead brother, no widow wife, and no son (at least at that time). When Martha Eccles Bullock arrived in camp, she brought with her a daughter. Subsequently, she and Seth had another daughter, and a son.

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Fun Fact: Seth Bullock and Martha Eccles Bullock were childhood sweethearts

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Bullock wasn’t just sheriff of Lawrence County. He had several business interests. In addition to Star and Bullock, Auctioneers and Commission Merchants, they also owned a cattle operation dubbed S&B Ranch Company, as well as Deadwood Flour Milling. When the building that housed their hardware business burned down in 1894, rather than rebuild, they erected the town’s first luxury hotel, called the Bullock Hotel (which is still in operation today).

Bullock met Theodore Roosevelt in 1884 and the two became fast friends. Bullock joined Grigsby’s Cowboy Regiment in 1898 to support Roosevelt’s Rough Riders in the Spanish-American War. However, the war ended before Grigsby’s Cowboy Regiment could be deployed. For his efforts, Bullock earned the rank of captain. When Roosevelt became vice-president under William McKinley, Bullock was named the first forest supervisor of the Black Hills Reserve. When Roosevelt became president in 1905, Bullock participated in his friend’s inaugural parade. The new president then named Bullock U.S. Marshal for South Dakota. Bullock was one of 18 officers selected by Roosevelt to gather recruits for Roosevelt’s World War I Volunteers.

After Roosevelt’s death, Bullock created a monument to his friend on Sheep Mountain. He also led the efforts to rename the mountain “Mount Roosevelt.” Bullock died of colon cancer in 1919 and is buried near Wild Bill and Calamity Jane in Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Deadwood.

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Fun Fact: Seth Bullock is credited with introducing alfalfa farming to South Dakota

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Pete Dexter’s book, Deadwood, focuses primarily (although not exclusively) on Charlie Utter. He was born in 1838 in Niagara Falls, New York, and was raised in Illinois. He eventually made his way to Colorado in the 1860s where he got the nickname “Colorado Charlie.” He worked as a trapper, a guide, and a prospector, before forming his own wagon train in 1876 with his brother, Steve, and heading off for Deadwood.

Utter was known as a snappy dresser, unusual at that time, and the opposite of how he was portrayed in the HBO series. He also had the rather odd habit of bathing every day, which was included in the Dexter book. Utter insisted on sleeping under only the highest quality blankets, he was very particular about his hair, and he didn’t allow anyone—not even Wild Bill—into his tent.

Just as in the TV show, Utter started a lucrative delivery business, shuttling mail and freight between Deadwood and Cheyenne. However, his business was short lived. In early 1879, he purchased a saloon in Gayville, South Dakota When things didn’t work out the way he had hoped, he returned to Deadwood just in time to watch fire destroy the town on September 26, 1879.

After the fire, Utter returned to Colorado for a time, then went to Socorro, New Mexico, where he opened another saloon. It’s not clear when he left New Mexico, but he ended up in Panama, where he owned drugstores in Panama City and Colon. Utter went blind and was not heard from again after 1913. It is believed that he died in Panama.

In Deadwood: The Movie, Utter is killed by an assassin hired by George Hearst. Hearst wanted a parcel of land that Utter owned, but Utter refused to sell. This is fiction. While it is true that George Hearst and Charlie Utter were in Deadwood at the same time (from October 1877 to September 1879), it is unknown if their paths crossed. Dexter’s book ends with Utter in Panama, whiling away his days in the sun.

One of the main characters in the TV show was Al Swearengen. In the show, he was English-born. As a child, Al moved to Chicago with his mother, who was a prostitute. When she left town, Al was placed in an orphanage, where the head mistress rented him out to pedophiles. This was all fiction. In fact, in real life, Al was one of eight children (along with his twin brother, Lemuel) born to a Dutch-American couple in Oskaloosa, Iowa in 1845. He remained in Iowa until 1876, when he relocated to Deadwood.

Upon arriving in camp, Al started the Cricket Saloon. It was housed in a canvas and lumber building, and featured gambling and prizefights. The Cricket did great business and Al need a bigger place. So, he started the Gem Theater in a proper building. The Gem was a saloon, dance hall, and brothel, the latter of which earned Al the reputation of being a brutal pimp. He would advertise jobs in hotels–such as maids, clerks, and entertainers–to recruit women. Those that responded were given a one-way ticket to Deadwood, where they would find themselves stranded and at the mercy of Swearengen. They were given the choice of either becoming prostitutes or being left to die in the street. Those that chose to become prostitutes were physically abused to keep them in line.

Unlike the character on the TV show, the real Al was married three times. His first wife, Nettie, followed him to Deadwood, but soon divorced him, claiming spousal abuse. He married two more times with the same results.

In Dexter’s book, Swearengen is in hiding from an assailant when he asks his wife to collect his money from the bank so he can flee. Instead, his wife collects the money and she flees, both her husband and Deadwood.

In real life, Swearengen made a fortune from the Gem, earning $5000-$10,000 most nights. However, it wasn’t without its challenges. The Gem burned down in September 1879. He rebuilt, only to have his business burn down again in 1899. By that time, Swearengen had had enough of Deadwood. He relocated to Denver.

In Deadwood: The Movie, a sequel to the HBO show, Al is shown as a weakened and dying man in 1889. This wasn’t clear to me, but it appeared that he died in his room above the Gem at the end of the film, leaving the Gem Theater to Trixie, his favorite prostitute.

Swearengen is portrayed much differently in the book. Dexter makes him out to be a brutal, bi-sexual whoremonger who is shot and killed by Charlie Utter.

Of course, neither the movie nor the book are factual. In real life, Al moved to Denver in 1899. In November 1904, he was found dead in the street. The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. Was it murder? He could have fallen and hit his head, but authorities at the time believed he was struck on the head by an assailant while trying to hop a train. Despite the money he made at The Gem, Swearengen died penniless.

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Fun Fact: Much of the action in the first season of the HBO show Deadwood takes place in 1876 at

Al Swearengen’s Gem Theater. However, in real life, The Gem did not open until 1877.

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To be continued in Part 2…

My old website was really dated. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t update the theme or some of the plug-ins anymore because the php code was too old (I’m not really sure what that means). I’ve been looking into new WordPress themes, or maybe even a new website builder, but I haven’t found anything I like yet.

In the meantime, I’ve switched over to a new WordPress theme. It’s not really what I’m looking for, but at least it’s not outdated. And miraculously, everything transferred over to the new theme without losing any content or causing me any headaches. I consider that a victory.

Ideally, the new website will be ready by June 1, 2020, the publication goal date for my next book, The Ones That Got Away (Have you read my latest update on the book?). Realistically, I have doubts that I’ll be able to have the website done by then. I still have a lot of work to do to get the book ready for publication.

Enjoy the new theme. If you have any suggestions on a good theme or website builder I could use, let me know.

Have you ever heard the song “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes? Everyone over the age of fifty or so has probably heard the song hundreds of times. It was a number one hit and was played incessantly on the radio in the late 1970s. If you’ve never heard the song, let me tell you about it.

The narrator of the song is tired of his relationship with his wife or girlfriend. It’s never clear if he’s married or just dating. He thinks his relationship is boring, so he scans the personal ads in the newspaper.

For younger readers, this might seem crazy, but back in the dark ages of the 1970s, there was no Match.com, eHarmony, or Tinder. If you were looking for a date, you took out a classified ad in the newspaper and hoped that someone would read it and respond. Crazy, I know. It’s amazing any of us are still alive.

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Fun Fact: Rupert Holmes was born David Goldstein on February 24, 1947

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Anyway, the guy in the song sees a personal ad that catches his eye. The ad reads:

“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape”

Who could blame a guy for falling for that kind of poetry and passion in just four lines? Our song narrator couldn’t. So, what did he do? Did he write to the Pina Colada women? No, he did not. This is one of the many things I don’t understand about the song. Maybe I just don’t remember how personal ads worked, but I thought the person posting the personal ad included a way to contact her, like a phone number or a mailbox provided by the newspaper. In her personal ad, she even says, in the last line, “write to me.”

But our songster doesn’t write to her. He places another personal ad. That seems risky, doesn’t it? How does he know the woman he is responding to would even see his ad? Talk about a long shot. I’m sorry, but color me skeptical.

Here’s what our narrator wrote in his personal ad:

“Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O’Malley’s, where we’ll plan our escape”

Naturally, if the woman from the first personal ad didn’t see his personal ad, it wouldn’t be much of a song, would it? So, miracle of miracles, she sees our hero’s personal ad and shows up to O’Malley’s.

Before I move on, let me discuss O’Malley’s Bar. Have you ever heard of a high-class club called O’Malley’s? I know, this is all fictional. It didn’t really happen. But if you were going to make up a place to meet a make-believe date and you wanted to impress her, would you call it O’Malley’s? I wouldn’t. O’Malley’s sounds like a place you’d go with your mates after the rugby match, or a place that functioning alcoholics gather after work. It doesn’t sound like a swank place to take a date.

Sorry for the tangent. Back to the song.

So, our hero is waiting at O’Malley’s, and his date from the personal ad shows up. Here’s what happens:

“So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, ‘Oh, it’s you’
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, ‘I never knew’”

At this point, my BS meter is going nuts. Are you kidding me? They both just realized that their significant other is looking for a hook up, and they’re both fine with it? I don’t think that’s how relationships work. The relationship is so bad that they both want to cheat, but when they both get caught, they laugh it off and decide to stay together. I don’t think so.

Also, is it just the way I’m reading it, or does the wife/girlfriend sound horribly disappointed when she says “Oh, it’s you?” If I was the guy, I wouldn’t be so anxious to stay in this relationship. He should really watch his back. She doesn’t seem that into him.

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Fun Fact: “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” was the final #1 song of the 1970’s

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The song was originally called simply “Escape.” There was no mention of pina coladas. In fact, originally, pina coladas weren’t even mentioned in the song. The original lyric was, “If you like Humphrey Bogart…” That’s right. Humphrey Bogart. Not quite as romantic or tropical as pina colada, is it? After Holmes wrote the song, he decided Humphrey Bogart wasn’t the feel he was looking for. He thought substituting an alcoholic drink might be the way to go, something tropical, and pina colada was one of the first drinks that came into his head. At that point, he had never had one and wasn’t sure what was in the drink, but it fit phonetically, so he went with it.

Although “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” is the biggest hit of his career, Holmes didn’t view it that way when he wrote the song. He needed one song to finish an album, and wasn’t all that crazy about “Escape”. He just wanted to finish writing it, get it recorded, and go home.

So, while he was writing the lyrics, struggling to find a replacement word or phrase for “Humphrey Bogart,” the drummer from Holmes band got drunk. In fact, too drunk to play on the song. So, he was stuffed into a taxi and sent home, leaving Holmes to use a basic form of sampling for the drum track. It wasn’t ideal, but Holmes wasn’t too concerned. “Escape” was just a filler track so he could finish recording the album.

In a 2003 interview with SongFacts Magazine, Holmes said, “The original lyrics said, ‘If you like Humphrey Bogart and getting caught in the rain.’… As I was getting on mic I thought to myself, I’ve done so many movie references to Bogart and wide-screen cinema on my earlier albums, maybe I shouldn’t do one here. I thought, what can I substitute? Well, this woman wants an escape, like she wants to go on vacation to the islands. When you go on vacation to the islands, when you sit on the beach and someone asks you if you’d like a drink, you never order a Budweiser, you don’t have a beer. You’re on vacation, you want a drink in a hollowed-out pineapple with the flags of all nations and a parasol. If the drink is blue you’d be very happy. And a long straw. I thought, what are those escape drinks? Let’s see, there’s daiquiri, mai tai, piña colada… I wonder what a piña colada tastes like? I’ve never even had one. I thought that instead of singing, ‘If you like Humphrey Bogart,’ with the emphasis on like, I could start it a syllable earlier and go, ‘If you like piña-a coladas.’”

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Fun Fact: Holmes brother, Richard, is an opera singer

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When the album was finished, the studio decided they wanted to release “Escape” as a single. Holmes thought it was a bad idea, but didn’t fight them. The song floundered, never rising very high on the Billboard charts in the US. Then radio stations began reporting that they were being inundated with requests for “The Pina Colada Song.” Problem was, there was no song named “The Pina Colada Song”. The studio contacted Holmes and requested that the song be renamed. Holmes refused, but they came to a compromise: “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).” Once the song was renamed, it shot to number one.

Since then, “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” has been featured in movies, such as Shrek, Guardians of the Galaxy, Grown Ups, and Like Father, as well as TV shows, such as Third Watch, The Goldbergs, Splitting Up Together, Living with Yourself, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Not bad for a song that was considered a throw away by its author.

Rupert Holmes is considered a bit of a one hit wonder by many people. However, that’s not only unfair, but incorrect. He had eight songs on the Billboard 100, including “Him,” that peaked at number six, and “Answering Machine,” which rose to number thirty-two. Also, before writing “Escape (The Pina Colada Song),” he wrote songs for other artists, including Dolly Parton, Gene Pitney, and The Drifters. Here’s a song he wrote for The Partridge Family:

And here’s one that was included in Barbara Streisand’s hit movie, A Star is Born:

After writing “Escape (The Pina Colada Song),” Holmes expanded his horizons, writing a mystery novel entitled Where the Truth Lies, which won the Edgar Award and was turned into a movie starring Kevin Bacon. He also penned a play called The Mystery of Edwin Drood (later known as Drood) that won a Tony Award. He also created and wrote the American Movies Classic TV show Remember WENN.

Here is Holmes explaining the creation of “Escape (The Pina Colada Song),” as well as doing the song live:

I’m getting a late jump on listing the best books I read in 2019. I’ve had some personal things going on over the past few months that have knocked me out of commission. I may write about those things here on the blog soon, or I may not say anything, and you’ll naturally assume the worst.

This year’s list, as in years past, contains books I read during the previous year. That does not mean that those books were published in 2019. In fact, most were not. I just happened to read them in 2019.

I ran into a bit of a problem this year when compiling my list. And the nature of the problem was very basic. That is, what is a book? That seems simple enough, but I read (listened to) many audio books during the year, and Audible recently started publishing what they call “Audible Originals.” Audible Originals are audio-only books. There is no printed version of the book available. So, are these audio books actually books?

I struggled with this question and ultimately decided not to include the audio-only books in my list. As I write this, I’m already regretting my decision. There were some very good audio-only books, including Midnight Son by James Dommeck, Jr. and The Dead Drink First by Dale Maharidge.

As in years past, I’ll begin with the tenth best book I read this year and slowly make my way to the book that was better than all the rest. The suspense will be excruciating. If you have a heart condition, please consult your doctor before reading further.

10. Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel – I had heard good things about Station Eleven before reading it. Unfortunately, I saw in the description of the book that the story takes place in a dystopian world following the collapse of society. I’m not really into dystopian novels. I’ve read a few and had trouble telling one from the other. Even so, I read Station Eleven and was pleasantly surprised. The story is unique, the characters are well developed, and the writer does a good job of keeping the reader engaged, not spending too much time explaining the rules of the world she has created. I’m not ready for another dystopian novel any time soon, but I’m glad I read Station Eleven.

 

9. Gone So Long: A Novel by Andre Dubus III – Andre Dubus III is one of my favorite literary writers. His book Dirty Love was terrific, and I also really liked The House of Sand and Fog. Gone So Long is the story of an ex-con—a murderer—who is trying to reconnect with the daughter he has been estranged from for forty years. After life in prison, Danny is ill-equipped to navigate his way back to his daughter, especially considering that he was convicted of murdering her mother. But that doesn’t stop him from writing to her and making the long drive to Florida to see her. His daughter is reluctant to meet with him. Even so, Danny pushes forward, determined to see her before he dies. Dubus gives a master class in character development. Each of his characters is flawed, but all too human. I enjoyed the time I spent with them.

8. The Long Flight Home by Alan Hlad – The Long Flight Home takes place in England during World War II and is inspired by true events. Susan lives with her grandfather, and together, they raise carrier pigeons. The British military contacts them and asks for their help delivering messages to British troops in German-occupied France. Ollie is a crop duster from Maine who is determined to join the Royal Air Force. When his plans change and he finds himself alone in England, he meets Susan, and helps her and her grandfather with the pigeons. The relationship between Susan and Ollie grows as they work together, but the fates of war are not going to make it easy for them to be together. For some reason, I can’t get enough of books that take place during World War II, and The Long Flight Home definitely fits the bill.

7. Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton – Next Year in Havana tells the story of a family in Cuba coming to grips with their changing lives in the face of the rise of Fidel Castro. Much has been written about this time in Cuba, but one of the things I appreciate about the author was how she wove in the struggles current day Cubans—both in Cuba and the United States—have with the island nation. She captures the love/hate relationship they had and have with Cuba. Part of the book takes place in 1958, just before the revolution, and part takes place in 2017 in both Havana and Miami, as relations between the US and Cuba are starting to thaw. I’ve always been drawn to the history and culture of Cuba. Next Year in Havana did a great job of sharing the history and immersing me in the culture of our Caribbean neighbor.

6. The Cost of These Dreams by Wright Thompson – For years, Frank DeFord was recognized as the dean of long form sports writers. He was celebrated in the pages of Sports Illustrated, and his stories carried him outside of sports onto the national stage. For me, Wright Thompson is our current version of Frank DeFord. He’s a terrific writer, but he also brings a unique perspective. He has a way of taking a subject—whether profiling former Ohio State Football Coach Urban Meyer or telling the story of a round of golf he shared with his father—and turning it into more. More meaningful, more emotional, more universal. Wright grew up in the cradle of Southern writers—Oxford, Mississippi—and brings a literary eye to sports writing. In The Cost of These Dreams, Thompson shares several essays that were previously printed in ESPN the Magazine. They showcase the depth and breadth of a true artist at the top of his craft.

5. Go Like Hell: Ford, Ferrari and Their Battle for Speed and Glory at LeMans by A.J. Baime – Last fall, I was very excited to see the movie Ford vs Ferrari starring Matt Damon and Christian Bale. Damon plays Carroll Shelby, a legendary racer and character, and the inspiration for my daughter’s name (Shelby). But before seeing the movie, I wanted to read the book it was based on. As much as I liked the movie (I thought it was great), I liked the book even better. Go Like Hell gets into all of the details of the story that the movie didn’t have time for. The author did a great job of introducing us to the characters and slowly building the story. Everything was in just the right place. Reading Go Like Hell was a wonderful ride.

 

4. November Road by Lou Berney – In years past, I’ve read a lot of books written by Don Winslow. I think he’s a terrific writer and I’ve enjoyed several of his books, including The Winter of Frankie Machine, The Cartel, The Dawn Patrol, and Satori. I follow Winslow on Twitter and saw that he was recommending a book by Lou Berney. I had never heard of Berney, but I trusted Winslow’s recommendation. So, I read Berney’s book, November Road, and was blown away. November Road is an extremely well-crafted mystery novel that takes place in the 1960’s with the JFK assassination as a backdrop. I also read Berney’s book The Long and Faraway Gone in 2019, and if my list was one or two books longer, Berney would have had two books on it.

 

3. The River by Peter Heller – The River is the story of two college friends who go for a long canoe and camping trip in northern Canada. Their idyllic trip is interrupted by a huge wildfire closing in on them. They’re in a rush to get off the river and out of the woods, but they are halted when they hear a couple arguing in the distance, and then come upon a man paddling the river alone. Have they just run across a murderer? Will they be able to find out before the wildfire consumes them? Heller’s writing is tremendous. The world he created is serene, yet unforgiving, and his story only slows down enough so the reader can catch their breath before plunging ahead into another conflict or adventure.

 

2. The Help by Kathryn Stockett – By now, I assume most of you have seen the movie, The Help, that was based on this book. Both the movie and the book were terrific, but of the two, I thought the book was better. Rather than talk about the story, I’d like to use The Help to briefly talk about something that has been in the news recently. The book, American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins, was catapulted to fame when it was selected for the Oprah Winfrey Book Club. Then, it was harshly criticized throughout the media. I haven’t read the book and don’t know if it was any good, but the quality of the writing isn’t what’s being criticized. What many pundits are critical of is the fact that a white female writer wrote about a Mexican woman and her child who flee Mexico after her family is killed, being chased into the US by narcotraffickers along the way. Critics accuse Cummins of cultural appropriation, claiming that she does not have the right to create characters or storylines that aren’t part of her lived experience. In other words, she can only write about people like her and situations she has experienced. I call BS. Kathryn Stockett, the author of The Help, is a privileged white woman who grew up in Jackson, Mississippi (where the story takes place), but she has never been black, never been poor, and never been a domestic worker in Jackson, working for rich white people. Yet, she created a wonderful and important book, not just from her own experiences, but from her research and imagination. The Help is a work of fiction, and the world would be a worse place without it.

1. The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah – You can be pretty sure that a book is good if it stays with you for weeks after reading it. It has been six months since a read The Great Alone and I still think about it often. The story is about a family from the northwest United States who moves to Alaska in 1974 after inheriting some land. The family consists of Ernt, a former POW from the Viet Nam war, his wife, Cora, and their thirteen-year-old daughter, Leni. What they find in Alaska is a beautiful, but unforgiving, land. Life is hard, made all the harder by Ernt’s frequent angry outbursts. He beats Cora when he’s angry. She makes excuses for him, never holding a grudge. Leni loves her father, but sees his dark side and does everything she can to avoid it. When a neighbor takes steps to modernize the town in order to take advantage of tourist dollars, Ernt does everything in his power to stop the inevitable. Hannah does a masterful job crafting the characters and the storyline. The Great Alone deserves to be the best book I read in 2019.

I took my car to the car wash today. The front of the car was covered with dead love bugs. Those nasty little critters have been swarming for the past few weeks. They can cause all kinds of problems, including clogging up car radiators, and, if you don’t wash them off soon enough, their acidic little bodies can eat away at the car’s clear coat.

Have you ever heard the story behind how love bugs came to be? The story I heard for years was that the University of Florida created the little monsters as a way of combating another type of pest. Another story I heard was that the love bugs were an experiment at UF that went wrong, and then they escaped from the laboratory to annoy people for generations.

As it turns out, neither of these stories is true. In fact, the University of Florida wasn’t even involved. I suspect the stories were started by someone from Florida State.

One of the top experts on love bugs (I wonder if it says that on his resume) is Nash Turley, a post-doctoral researcher at the University of Central Florida. In this video, he tells us everything we ever wanted to know about love bugs. And if you’re like me, after watching the video, you’ll likely end up understanding love bugs better, but hating them as much as ever.

I have to go scrub my bumper now. The car wash couldn’t get the lousy little pests off of it.

On Tuesday, August 27 I logged into my online bank account to transfer some money, and saw an odd entry. It was so fresh, it hadn’t cleared my checking account yet, leading me to believe that the charge had just been made in the previous hour or two. The entry was a pre-authorized debit to AirBnB for $787.20. The entry included a confirmation code.

I knew I hadn’t made a reservation on AirBnB, so I contacted my bank to inform them of the fraudulent charge. My hope was, that if I notified them right away, they could decline the charge. As I said, the charge had been pre-authorized, but it hadn’t been funded yet.

I admit, I don’t know what rules the bank has to follow once a charge has been pre-authorized, but I still don’t understand why they couldn’t have declined payment once they were aware that the charge was fraudulent. In any case, they didn’t decline the charge.

Next, I contacted AirBnB. The representative referred my issue to the AirBnB Trust and Safety Department. This is where things began to fall apart. Someone named Julia from the Trust and Safety Department sent me an email telling me that I should work with my bank to do a chargeback. The email went on to explain that, due to privacy concerns, AirBnB could not provide me with any information about who made the reservation (with my debit card) or what they reserved.

That kind of irritated me. My card was used fraudulently, but AirBnB was more concerned with protecting the privacy of the scum bag who stole my debit card info than with helping me. That just didn’t seem right.

Even so, I did as I was instructed and contacted my bank so they could do a charge back. I sent the person I was dealing with at the bank a copy of the email from AirBnB, and assumed the charge back process would be quick and easy. Boy, was I wrong.

The bank contacted me two days later to let me know that AirBnB wouldn’t deal with them. Initially, AirBnB told the bank that they weren’t entitled to a charge back because they weren’t an AirBnB member. {See Update #3 below. I initially misunderstood the explanation that the bank shared with me. Update #3 contains a detailed explanation.} The bank tried again to explain the process, but their email was blocked. The woman I was working with at the bank asked if I could contact AirBnB to let them know that my bank was trying to do a charge back for me.

I did as I was asked, and the process started all over again. This time, Conn from the AirBnB Trust and Safety Department sent me an email telling me to work with my bank to do a chargeback, and telling me that I had no right to know anything about the reservation that was made with my card.

I immediately sent another email asking Conn to please read my entire email and reach out to my bank to handle the charge back. Instead of doing that, Conn sent me another email telling me to contact my bank. He went on to say that if I had any questions, I should ask my bank. In other words, we’ve done all we’re going to do. Don’t bother us again.

Despite his effort to get rid of me, I reached out again (via email) to Conn and repeated my concerns. Conn gave up, but his partner, Joaquin, added insult to injury by sending me yet another form email just like the first two. I sent a strongly worded (READ: Angry) response to Joaquin letting him know that their charge back process had broken down and asking him to please reach out to my bank.

Joaquin couldn’t be bothered to reply to me, nor did he reach out to my bank, as requested.

A few days went by without any further contact from AirBnB, so I called them again. I spoke to Trish and explained everything that had happened to date. She had all of the information, including all of my emails asking AirBnB to return my $787.20 via chargeback to the bank. Trish seemed concerned about how things had been handled to that point and agreed not to send my case back to the Trust and Safety Department. At my request, Trish agreed to escalate my situation to someone in management at AirBnB. She advised that she would have Marion call me back “within the day.” She said she wasn’t sure when Marion would call, but she encouraged me to make myself available throughout the day. I agreed.

To my surprise (Although, at this point, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised), instead of a phone call from Marion, I received a slightly edited form email from Alfonse in the AirBnB Trust and Safety Department. The letter starts out like this:

“We’ve received your email and understand your concerns with the unauthorized and/or unrecognized charges you’ve reported. Unfortunately, it appears this charge has already been investigated and further reports of the same charge will not result in a different outcome.”

Really, AirBnB? Do you understand my concerns? If you do, you’ve never responded to them. I’ve told you several times that my bank has attempted to do a chargeback, but you wouldn’t deal with them. As things stand, a month after I notified you of this situation, you still have nearly $800 of mine that you received fraudulently, and you refuse to return it. You won’t even respond to my emails. And by respond, I mean engage with me. Read my emails and do what is necessary to remedy this situation.

AirBnB, I’d really like my money back. You received it through an act of fraud. You didn’t earn it. Please return it. At least six of your employees are aware of the situation, but none of them has lifted a finger to help me.

Please read my emails, reach out to my bank, and return my money. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Update #1 — About 30 minutes after I posted a link to this post on Twitter, @AirBnBHelp reached out to me and offered to help. We corresponded a couple of times over the weekend, but ultimately, their response was no different than what I’ve been told all along. Here’s what they said:

“Thank you for that information Lou, we have reviewed your account and can see that our Trust team followed up with you on September 25th via email with information regarding your case. We encourage you to review that email for the complete details.”

The email that AirBnB refers to is the same email I quoted above where AirBnB told me to contact my bank and leave them alone. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Update #2 — Yesterday, I posted Update #1, and tweeted out the update on Twitter. A few hours later, I received the following note from AirBnB Help:

“We’re really sorry for the frustration, Lou. We’ve asked our specialized team to follow up with you as soon as possible. Thank you for your continued patience.”

That sounded promising, but rather than hearing from a specialized team, I heard from Marco in the Trust and Safety Department. And what did Marco say? He sent me the exact same form email I’ve received four times before telling me to contact my bank. I’ve made it clear to everyone I’ve communicated with that I’ve contacted my bank, but AirBnB refuses to engage with them. In fact, I have some additional information about AirBnB’s response to the bank that I’ll be posting a little later. The saga continues…

Update #3 – This update gets a little technical, but I think it will help explain why AirBnB is refusing to deal with my bank.

When my bank contacted AirBnB and requested a chargeback (as requested over and over again by AirBnB in emails to me), my bank received a memo indicating that the bank did not have dispute rights for the charge. The memo stated:

“According to the network dispute resolution rules, there are no dispute rights for this transaction. This is due to the merchant participating in the ‘3D Secure’ program, and the transaction obtaining an authorization message.”

Let’s break this down a little. The merchant referred to in this paragraph is AirBnB. They subscribe to “3D Secure,” which, according to Wikipedia, is:

“…an XML-based protocol designed to be an additional security layer for online credit and debit card transactions. It was originally developed by Arcot Systems (now CA Technologies) and first deployed by Visa with the intention of improving the security of internet payments, and is offered to customers under the Verified by Visa/Visa Secure brands…EMV 3-D Three Domain Secure (3DS) is a messaging protocol developed by EMVCo to enable consumers to authenticate themselves with their card issuer when making card not present (CNP) transactions. The additional security layer helps prevent unauthorized CNP transactions and protects the merchant from CNP exposure to fraud. The three domains Secure consist of the merchant/acquirer domain, issuer domain, and the interoperability domain (e.g. Payment Systems).”

Okay, that’s long and boring, but in a nutshell, 3D Secure is a security system designed to be used when the credit or debit card is not present, as with internet purchases. According to my bank, the way 3D Secure works in practice is the purchaser enters their card number, and then a box pops-up asking the purchaser to provide an authorization code that the merchant provides via text.

In order for this particular purchase with AirBnB to have been approved (assuming it was), AirBnB would have had to send an authorization code to the purchaser. Since it was my debit card that was used, I assume I’m considered the purchaser, but I never received a text containing an authorization code. Somehow, assuming AirBnB used 3D Secure properly and required an authorization code (I have no way of knowing if the transaction was handled properly since I wasn’t involved), they would have had to send an authorization code to a cell phone other than mine.

There are a couple of things to consider. First, assuming you didn’t nod off while reading the Wikipedia explanation of 3D Secure, you probably noticed that it said 3D Secure adds an additional layer of security that “helps prevent unauthorized CNP transactions and protects the merchant from CNP exposure to fraud.” In other words, 3D Secure primarily protects the merchant, not the consumer.

In this same vein, the Wikipedia article goes on to say:

“Analysis of the first version of protocol by academia has shown it to have many security issues that effect the consumer, including a greater surface area for phishing and a shift of liability in the case of fraudulent payments.”

So, here’s the bottom line: AirBnB subscribes to a cyber-security system that has been shown to be flawed, and was obviously flawed in this case. Even so, they are standing behind the 3D Secure rules that state that they don’t have to return payments to consumers, even if those payments were received through fraudulent means. Seems pretty sweet for AirBnB, but it really sucks for the consumer.

As I think this through, there are only two ways that AirBnB could have charged by card without my permission. The first is that they didn’t follow the 3D Secure protocols and did not require an authorization code before charging my card. If this happened, AirBnB is obviously negligent in their actions and should not be able to hide behind the 3D Secure rules.

The second way is if the person who stole my debit card info created an AirBnB member profile, and connected their own cell phone number and my card number to their profile. Then, when AirBnB sent the authorization code, the scammer entered it and the transaction was complete. But can it really be this easy to scam AirBnB? If this is all it takes, the 3D Secure protocol is useless. If anyone can set up an AirBnB profile and can attach a stolen debit card to it without AirBnB requiring verification, the 3D Secure protocols are meaningless and serve to protect no one other than the merchant.

Certainly, AirBnB understands this. Their system is easily usurped, yet they continue to rely on it to the detriment of their customers. This is obviously wrong and shouldn’t be allowed.

So, what’s next? I don’t know. Various people have suggested I sue in small claims court. I really don’t want to deal with that headache, but I hate seeing someone in power (AirBnB) take advantage of someone who has no power (me). So, it’s a possibility. I’ll keep you posted.

Update #4 — I hate how this is all playing out with AirBnB. I used to like the company and thought they had a terrific, useful product. I enjoyed my experience with them, and had planned on using them again. Unfortunately, the way they have handled my situation leads me to believe they are an untrustworthy company that deals with customer issues in bad faith. I’m not the only one who feels this way. Check out this article on Vice.com by Allie Conti about her experience with AirBnB. Our issues are different, but AirBnB’s response to our issues is very similar.

I hate to spew my personal issues on this blog. I started it to talk about my writing and to share stories I find interesting or inspiring. But as it turns out, people like it when I complain. We all have issues we’re dealing with in our lives, and as the old saying goes, misery loves company. So, for those that enjoy my complaining, I have a real treat for you. My next two posts will be nothing but complaining. Ready? Here goes.

I own a 2016 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Since I bought it, it’s been a pretty good vehicle. There are a couple of things that bother me about it, but overall, I’ve been happy with it.

Two Fridays ago, I was getting ready to go on a week-long road trip. When I started the vehicle (It’s an SUV, so do you call it a car or a truck?), the radio screen on the dash had a pop-up indicating that my UConnect software needed to be updated. The pop-up detailed the updating process. I followed it, but it didn’t work. And because it didn’t work, I couldn’t use my radio or the vehicle’s blue-tooth capabilities for the first part of my trip.

I tried to download the software a couple more times, but it still didn’t work. When I got to my destination in Wisconsin, I went to a Jeep dealer. The service writer and manager were both very nice and tried to be helpful, but there wasn’t much they could do. However, the service manager did find something called a Star Case, which is apparently a way that Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep dealers are notified of ways to fix unusual problems that spring up on their vehicles. Kevin, the service manager, went over the software update process detailed in the Star Case, but again, it didn’t work.

A week went by, and I returned to Florida. I called a local Jeep dealer and was told my problem was with UConnect. The service writer gave me their toll-free number and told me I would have to call them. She said they didn’t know what to do about UConnect problems.

Okay, let’s stop for a second and think about that. Jeep dealers sell Jeep vehicles, but what the service writer was telling me was that they could not fix—actually, did not know how to fix—problems with the computer software in the vehicle that they sell. As it turns out, she was wrong (I’ll get to that in a minute), but can you imagine anyone at a Jeep dealer actually believing that they couldn’t fix something on a Jeep vehicle? It boggles the mind.

I didn’t know any better, so I called UConnect. The first woman I spoke to was very nice. She walked me through the steps I needed to download the software. But, of course, it didn’t work.

Let me take another time-out to explain something. The pop-up on the radio screen explains how to download the new software. You just schedule the download (it has to be when you’re not using the vehicle), and you should be good to go. Except, you’re not.

The Star Case that the dealer in Wisconsin shared with me had completely different instructions. In fact, they were so complicated that there was no way anyone could have figured them out on their own. And again, they didn’t work.

When I called UConnect, the nice woman I spoke to walked me through yet another process to download the software. The only thing it had in common with the first two processes was that it didn’t work either.

So, I called UConnect again and told them that the process they had me try didn’t work. I spoke to Alexander and he told me that I should take the vehicle to a dealer. I informed him that I had already taken it to one dealer in Wisconsin, and that I had spoken to a dealer in Florida who said they didn’t know what to do and had sent me to UConnect.

Alexander told me that he would escalate my issue to a UConnect specialist (I don’t know what Alexander’s title was, but when I heard that there were UConnect specialists, I wondered why I was talking to him). Now, this is the important part: Alexander told me that the UConnect specialist would be calling me back, and he said the specialist would also call the dealer to make sure they knew how to solve my problem. So, with good reason, I expected that the UConnect specialist would call me, as well as the dealership, in an effort to download the necessary software.

After my phone call with Alexander, I called the dealership again and told the service writer what I had found out. She seemed confused that my issue was being put back on my plate, and said she would talk to her manager, then call me back.

Twenty-four hours later, I still hadn’t heard from the UConnect specialist or the dealership. I called the dealership and again and again spoke to the same service writer. She did not apologize for not calling me back. However, she did inform me that UConnect never called her (Welcome to the club!). She put me on hold so she could talk to her manager, and when she came back on the line, she said that she could make an appointment for me to bring the vehicle in. She said they still didn’t know what to do about the software update, but they would look into it. That really didn’t inspire a lot of confidence that the problem would be solved, but it was my best option.

I called UConnect and mentioned that a specialist was supposed to call me, but that I hadn’t received a call. The rep (or whatever the person who answers the phones at UConnect is called) said it can take one or two business days for a specialist to call. When I complained, saying that the person I spoke to the previous day hadn’t said there might be a day or two delay, the rep offered to have a specialist call me. Although that didn’t make me happy, I had to appreciate the circular nature of the rep’s reasoning. After a little more complaining, the rep said a specialist would call me right back. And best of all, I wouldn’t have to wait a day or two. I was being sent to the front of the line.

My reward for dancing to the UConnect shuffle was to receive a call from Stephanie, who identified herself as a case manager. I don’t know how many levels they have at UConnect, but I think they could save some money by flattening their organizational hierarchy.

Stephanie got right to the point. She explained that specialists do not call customers or dealerships, and then told me that I should be working directly with my Jeep dealer. Based on the things she was saying, Stephanie didn’t seem to have a grasp of what had previously happened in my case. She also didn’t seem to care. I tried to explain what had happen before she became involved, but she wouldn’t listen. She constantly interrupted me and made statements that ignored what I had just told her. I finally asked her to stop interrupting me and allow me to finish my thought. Her response? She hung up.

I get as frustrated as anyone when things don’t go right, but I understand that processes and systems don’t always work the way they’re supposed to. What I don’t understand, and cannot tolerate, is when a person in a customer service position (Isn’t that pretty much everyone), refuses to listen, is rude, and simply doesn’t care to help the customer. There’s no excuse for it. So, I called UConnect back to voice my displeasure.

This time I spoke to Alex. I don’t think Alex and Alexander are the same person, but they could be. In any case, I explained my experience with Stephanie and asked if I could speak to her supervisor. He explained that he couldn’t do that, but he could take a complaint. I asked what would happen after I filed a complaint? Would somebody call me to discuss it? Would anybody care? He said he wasn’t sure what would happen to the complaint after he sent it in. At least he was being honest.

I gave him the information he needed, and I asked him to please include in the complaint that I would like Stephanie’s supervisor to contact me. Then, without me asking, Alex asked me to hold the line and he would try to connect me to a UConnect Consultant.

Alex was showing concern and initiative. Hooray, Alex! I wasn’t sure what a UConnect Consultant was, but I was willing to share my tale of woe with anyone that would listen. I had to hold for about ten minutes, but my patience was rewarded when Jasmine came on the line.

Jasmine did a tremendous job of listening to my story, responding appropriately, and setting my expectations for the future. We spoke for a long time, but throughout, Jasmine was professional and knowledgeable. She was also very concerned about my interaction with Stephanie. I told her that I felt I deserved a call from Stephanie to apologize for her behavior toward me. In a professional way, Jasmine said that probably wouldn’t happen, but she did promise to send the information to Stephanie’s boss so s/he could meet with Stephanie to work on her deficiencies.

My conversation with Jasmine was great. Even so, as soon as the dealership handles the software issue, I’m getting rid of my Jeep. And as God as my witness, I will never buy another Chrysler product again as long as I live. Life is too short, and I never want to deal with this type of unnecessary headache again.

Bye, bye, Jeep. . .