Stop #5 — Viroqua, WI

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” –Robert Burns

One of the things I have enjoyed most about my homeless tour of America this summer is planning the logistics of the trip. It’s fun to look at a calendar and fill the empty days like an artist filling a blank canvas. There’s a certain freedom involved with making plans for a three-month adventure.

But there’s a reason that the famous Yiddish proverb says, “Man plans, and God laughs.” Even the best laid plans are subject to change.

I was enjoying kicking around Florida, seeing friends and family, and visiting some of my favorite places. My tenure in Florida was supposed to last until the middle of July, but fate had other plans. While I was complaining about an insignificant rain shower in the Keys, my office in Wisconsin was being deluged with several inches of rain. Not only did my office flood, but I stored all of my furniture and other possessions in an empty office in the same building, and it got flooded too. It was time to head north.

As you might imagine, I was a little freaked out. My business was literally under water, and nearly everything I owned had been damaged by the flood waters. But something unexpected happened. I stopped freaking out.

I tend to like to control things. I’m not a control freak, but I prefer to direct the outcome of my life rather than accept whatever life brings my way. It’s how I’ve lived most of my life, and although the results have been mixed, I’ve generally been happy with the outcomes.

For whatever reason, this flood shifted my thinking. Rather than continually worrying about the flooding, I just accepted that all of my stuff had been ruined. When I let go of the attachment to my things, the worry dissipated. Suddenly, the idea of starting with a clean slate became appealing. I came to embrace the idea of starting over.

Although I welcomed this change in perspective, I have to admit that it surprised me. As I drove north toward Wisconsin, several times, I caught myself trying to get upset about the flood damage. It was an odd phenomenon trying to be upset. I couldn’t do it. I was at peace with whatever damage the flood had caused.

I didn’t know it during my drive, but I soon learned about the destructive power of attachments from Anthony de Mello, an Indian priest and psychotherapist. De Mello, who died in 1987, spoke about how attachments lead to unhappiness and anxiety.

Here’s how he described an attachment:

“An attachment is a state of clinging to something or someone that you believe is necessary for your happiness. Thus, attachments have you thinking, ‘Unless or until I get or can keep [fill in the blank], I cannot be happy’…Attachments have us thinking that, I cannot be happy unless I get out of debt . . . I can’t be happy unless my boss appreciates me. . . unless I make that sale . . . unless my neurosis goes away.”

I remember hearing something similar from a Buddhist teaching. In that case, it was that attachment and expectations lead to suffering. Remove the attachment or expectation, and suffering disappears. The Buddha taught that all things are impermanent, and attachment to them, whether material possessions, relationships, or even our own bodies, leads to dissatisfaction and pain when they inevitably change or cease to exist.

For de Mello, this does not mean that we have to give up enjoyment of the material world. There is a difference between denouncing the material world and simply detaching from it. As he explains, “One uses the material world, one enjoys the material world, but one does not make one’s happiness depend on the material world. We begin to enjoy worldly things when we are unattached because attachment makes us tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure and fearful. Let go of an attachment to something, and we begin to enjoy what it provides.”

Although this way of thinking was not completely new to me, I don’t think that I’ve ever practiced it before. The experience was a little uncomfortable, but the outcome was great. I detached the connection I had to my material possessions in the office, and I was happy despite potentially losing nearly everything I owned. I was at peace with whatever happened. It’s not a feeling I was used to, but I wanted more of it.

When I got to my office, things were much better than I expected. Not only had the office that houses my business dried out, but I found that my personal possessions had only suffered minor damage. My initial worry was a complete waste of time. I suppose that’s another important lesson I need to learn.

I’m thankful that the flood didn’t destroy my things, but I’m even more thankful for the change in my thinking that the flood brought about. As a result, I’m going to work hard in the future to stay detached from material possessions, relationships, and outcomes. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s a worthy goal.

My time in Wisconsin came to an end. I’ll be back at the end of the month, but it was time to head out on the road again, this time to see my brother and a couple of friends. More on that next time.

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Stop #4 — Florida Keys and Key West

My spirit soars when the bright sun shines,
When blue skies reign o’er all
But for life to thrive, including mine
Sometimes the rain must fall

I love the Florida Keys, and over the years, I’ve been fortunate to spend some time there. I thought it might be fun to visit for a couple of days during my time knocking about the country, killing time until my house is ready in September.

There were two things I wanted to accomplish while I was in the area. First, I wanted to go to Key West to take some photos of the iconic bars on the island.

I have two cameras that I’ve been wanting to put to use for some time. The first I got seven years ago. The other, five years ago. Two years ago, I bought a nice telephoto lens to take photos of the wildlife around my property. I’m embarrassed to say that in that entire time, I’ve never taken even one photo. That’s right. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

I can’t fully explain why that is. I’ve had good intentions, but I just haven’t pushed myself to get out and use the cameras. I’d make plans, then realize I didn’t have an SD card, or the batteries were dead, or I didn’t have the right lens. I’ve also used the excuse that I really don’t know how to properly use a digital camera. I was raised on 35mm cameras, and I have very little experience with the digital variety. But truthfully, that’s a cop out. The digital camera literally only requires that you set it to automatic, turn the camera on, and push the button. It’s not complicated.

So, when I started this homeless journey, I promised myself that I would take some photos. I’ve followed through on that promise, taking a few photos here and there, but the effort has felt forced. I’m taking photos because I’m requiring myself to do so, not because there are scenes I really want to capture.

For whatever reason, there are only two things I really want to photograph. First, I love the sight of cattle out on pasture. I think it’s beautiful. A variation on that theme would be buffalo or horses out on pasture. It can be gorgeous and I’d like to take those photos.

The other thing I want to photograph is bars, both inside and out. I don’t know why I am drawn to bars, especially dive bars. I’m not much of a drinker anymore, yet I love to sit at a bar, love the look of a rustic tavern, love the beer lights in the windows of a worn, well-loved saloon. As you can tell, I also love the various names we have for establishments that sell alcohol by the drink.

So, my plan was to snap some photos of iconic bars in Key West like Sloppy Joe’s, Captain Tony’s, The Green Parrot, etc. I drove down from Miami Lakes, taking the only road into the Keys: U.S. 1. If you’re in a hurry, U.S. 1 in the Florida Keys is not for you. Traffic is often heavy, and speed limits are kept unnecessarily low. By the time I made it to Key West, I was feeling frustrated and stressed, the exact opposite of what you want to feel in the Keys. My frustration was made even worse when, just before I got to town, it started to rain.

June is not the busiest time of year in Key West, yet I couldn’t seem to find a parking spot. Even at the best of times, parking in Key West is at a premium, and I made the mistake of coming into town mid-day, when the tourists were out, and the bars and restaurants were getting into full swing. Between the lack of parking and the rain, I gave up. I’ll just come back tomorrow, I thought, as I turned around and headed toward Sugarloaf Key, where I would be staying for a couple of days.

I thought it might be fun to stay in an Airstream trailer for my visit. I’ve never understood the attraction to Airstreams. They are fairly basic when compared to other campers, yet they are very expensive. I wanted to give one a try for myself.

I stayed at the Sugarloaf Key RV Resort and Cottages. It was conveniently located between Marathon and Key West. The place was laidback, uncrowded, and the staff was very friendly and helpful. During high season (Nov-Mar), I could see the resort being a hive of activity. But in the heat of June, it was much quieter and unrushed.

The Airstream itself was nice, but not overly fancy. The AC unit was extremely effective. I’m still thawing out from the experience. The camper was comfortable, but not overly so. In fact, I thought it was kind of sparce. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I expected more bells and whistles. To be clear, I didn’t need the bells and whistles. I just expected them.

I said earlier that there were two things I wanted to accomplish during my visit to the Keys. The first was to take some photos. The second was to visit two different locations that I included in my two most recent books.

In The Ones That Got Away, the protagonist, Scott Thompson, runs away to the Keys after he finds out his child was fathered by another man (it’s complicated). While there, he meets a woman named Sheri, who is running away from her own problems. They hit it off, and when they go to No Name Pub for pizza, Scott thinks Sheri may be the woman for him. Why? Because they both like sausage and mushroom pizza. After Sheri ghosts him, Scott decides that liking the same go-to pizza toppings may not be the best indicator of true love.

Prior to writing the book, I was aware of No Name Pub, but I had never been there. So, I made my way to Big Pine Key to check the place out for myself.

I sat at the bar on a heavy wooden stool that was too high and made my legs fall asleep. The place is dark inside, and nearly every square inch of the walls and low ceiling are covered in one-dollar bills. I would guess there were thousands of dollars stapled to the walls.

The bartender, Josh, had a thick Boston accent that made me think of my friend Eddie, who I had seen the day before. He was friendly, and took my order for a Corona, as well as a sausage and mushroom pizza (life imitating art). The beer was cold, and the bar was humming. For a late Tuesday afternoon during low season, I was surprised how many people were packed into the place.

No Name Pub sits way off of U.S. 1. If you’re not looking for it, it’s unlikely you’d just stumble across it. That’s not how I envisioned it when I wrote about it in the book. I also didn’t expect it to be so dark inside. And the pizza? It’s considered some of the best pizza in the Keys, but if I’m being honest, it was just okay. I’ll admit, I can be a bit of a pizza snob. It wasn’t bad, but I’ve had much better.

After the pizza and another beer, I had to commemorate my visit by stapling a dollar bill to the ceiling. Most people write their name on the dollar along with the date or a funny saying. For mine, I wrote the names Scott & Sheri, along with a heart. If you visit No Name Pub, be sure to look for it.

I left Big Pine Key and went back to my Airstream for the night. The spot where the Airstream sits includes an outdoor dining table and a two-seat glider, as well as a charcoal grill, I went out to sit in the glider to plan my next day. I only had one more day in the Keys and I wanted to make the most of it.

The next morning, I headed back to Key West to take some photos. The weather on Sugarloaf Key was gorgeous, so I had high hopes. But as soon as I hit Key West, the rain started to fall again. The town was quiet. With the exception of Duvall Street—which is tourist central—very few people were out and about. The rain picked up and seemed to come down harder the closer I got to my destination. It dawned on me that it wasn’t mandatory that I take any photos. I wasn’t required to stand out in the rain, getting drenched, just to snap a few pictures. The realization was a relief. I could just be in Key West without having to take any photos. I drove around town, seeing the sights while staying dry. Maybe someday I’ll get those photos. But today was not that day.

I decided to leave Key West and head to Marathon for lunch. The closer I got to my destination, the more the skies cleared and the sun shined through. I had lunch at Porky’s BBQ and Seafood, opting for the BBQ pork tacos. Like a lot of restaurants in the Keys, Porky’s is under roof, but open air, meaning there are no walls. I like that vibe. It feels the way an island joint should feel.

The tacos were mediocre—good, but not great—and the service was friendly. Porky’s sits right on the water, so it was nice to be able to look out on Florida Bay while eating. It made the experience of eating mediocre tacos much more enjoyable.

I bummed around Marathon for a while before heading to Sugarloaf Key. On the way back, I turned off U.S. 1 on Cudjoe Key to look at the area where Henry, the protagonist of A Thousand Ways Home, ends up living at the end of the book (Spoiler Alert!). The houses that were there in the 1940s are gone, replaced by concrete block structures on pilings better designed to handle hurricane-force winds. Even so, I could imagine what it must have been like when the Keys were much less developed, when people lived so much more simply than they do now. Although the culture of that time might not appeal to me, the lifestyle surely does.

Shortly after I got back to Sugarloaf Key, the skies opened up and rain came down angry on the aluminum skin of my temporary home. The sound of rain, even when it’s coming down hard, always seems to relax me. I laid my head back and was quickly lulled to sleep by the insistence of the rain. A nap was just what the doctor ordered. When I woke an hour later, the sun was out and I felt like a new man. After a shower and a change of clothes, I headed to Kiki’s Sand Bar for happy hour.

Kyle, the bartender, welcomed me and quickly set a Landshark down in front of me. The wind was blowing hard off the bay, clearing out the humidity and cooling things down. Being at a bar by myself always makes me a little self-conscious. I generally don’t like doing things alone, including drinking. Even so, I was determined to get out and enjoy myself.

When I sat down, there were two couples at the bar with me. One was from Detroit. I didn’t talk to them, but heard all about their trip down and how things were back home before they left. In fact, I think everyone in the general vicinity heard them talking about their exploits.

There was another couple sitting across the bar who were having a difficult time keeping their hands off each other. She was good looking and younger than her partner. He was older and not particularly good looking. I wondered what the attraction was. Then I realized, that’s probably what other people have wondered when they’ve seen me with my past partners. That hurt. I need to try to be less judgmental.

The point is, being around these couples made me feel all the more alone. I fought through my self-consciousness with a couple more beers before putting in an order for conch fritters. They were delicious and encouraged me to order another beer and some grouper bites. I was on a roll. Unfortunately, the grouper bites were not great, which is a shame, because I love grouper. I could feel that my time in the Keys was coming to a close, and the thought made me sad. I decided to head back to the Airstream for the night. The glider was calling my name.

A lot has happened in the past few days. I had planned on staying in Florida for another week to ten days, but a problem is calling me back to Wisconsin. More on that next time.

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Stop #3 — West Palm Beach and Miami

I don’t really like the term “work friends.” It makes it sound like friends from work are somehow less than or not as important as “real friends.” I don’t buy that. I don’t have any hard facts to back this up, but I suspect that we spend more time with “work friends” than we do with “real friends.” And as a result, those “work friends” end up becoming “real friends.”

That’s what happened with two people I worked with more than 30 years ago. Eddie Pierce—who lovingly goes by “Fast Eddie”—was one of the first people I met when I began working in West Palm Beach. From the minute I met him, I knew Eddie was a character. It wasn’t just his strong Boston accent that gave me that idea. It was his jokes, often irreverent and inappropriate (but always funny). It was his work ethic, always the first one at the office and the last one to leave. And it was his commitment to his job. To be around him for any time, it was obvious that he cared deeply that we were all doing the right thing and taking care of our customers.

I met Eddie under difficult circumstances. I had been brought in to shake things up in our West Palm office. I had been working for State Farm Insurance for about 6 years at that point, and it was my understanding that we were supposed to be spending our insured’s money wisely. That meant paying everything we owe, but nothing more. Eddie felt the same way, and he soon became my right hand.

It was suspected that several of our employees had been taking kickbacks from area body shops. An investigation was completed and sure enough, we found evidence that some people were accepting “gifts” they weren’t supposed to be getting; others were doing what the body shop told them to do, not what we told them to do; and at least one person was using a company car to deliver pizzas at night. It was a mess. We ended up firing a few people, re-training some others, and hiring some new employees. Most of the hard work of all of that chaos fell on Eddie’s shoulders. Our trial by fire ended up bonding us together as co-workers and friends.

Over the years, Eddie and I have stayed in touch, and we made a habit of getting together at least once a year, even after I moved to Wisconsin. But in recent years, our visits have been less frequent. We would talk once in a while, but it wasn’t the same as getting together face-to-face. So, I made my way to West Palm, and Eddie and I got together for a long overdue lunch.

It’s funny how friends can fall right back into well worn patterns, even after long absences. That’s how it always is with Eddie and me. Eddie always has plenty of stories to tell (he’s a great storyteller), and I’m only too eager to listen.

I drove down after my visits in Melbourne the previous day to Twin Peaks, a restaurant in West Palm neither of us had been to previously. The best way I can describe it is an upscale Hooters with a mountain theme. Eddie was in his environment. He loves to tell jokes and entertain, and that’s exactly what he did. Our waitress, Kaylee, thought he was hilarious and adorable, which only made Eddie tell more stories.

Eddie has lived an extraordinary life. He moved to West Palm Beach in 1971, leaving the cold of Boston behind. Eddie was a master body man and fell in with exotic car builders in the area. For years, he worked hard all day and partied hard all night. He was young, and he was enjoying his new home, as well as the money he was making. His life became filled with expensive cars, fast boats, and gorgeous women. When I say “gorgeous women,” I’m not exaggerating. Eddie has dated some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

But as happens so often, those late, crazy nights took their toll, and it became obvious to everyone around Eddie that he had a serious drinking problem. He eventually lost his wife and was on the verge of losing his job. That’s when Ron Mislowsky stepped in.

Ron was in charge of our office in West Palm Beach. He saw something in Eddie that others wanted to dismiss. Ron made arrangements for Eddie to enter an alcohol rehab program, and stood by him as he went through his recovery.

I have known a few alcoholics in my life, some who had stopped drinking and others who had not. I’ve never known anyone who went through alcohol treatment and came out the other side stronger or better than Eddie. He not only pulled his life together, but in the next few decades, he built a successful career and has helped others make the same journey to recovery that he made. I know Eddie feels he owes it all to Ron, and I can’t argue that Ron was a tremendous friend to Eddie when he desperately needed one, but the majority of the credit goes to Eddie himself. He did the hard work, he showed the dedication to sobriety, and he paid it forward to his friends and colleagues.

Recently, Eddie had surgery to remove some pretty serious skin cancer from his face. As he said, when the doctor was done with him, his nose “looked like hamburger.” But he’s made a full recovery and the surgery left only small, faint scars. At 78 years old, Eddie still surrounds himself with expensive cars and beautiful women, but his nights aren’t as late as they used to be.

Eddie and I ended our long lunch, and I made my way to Miami Lakes, where I planned to stay for the night. The reason for my visit to the Miami area was to see another “work friend,”:  Isis Alsina.

Isis and I became friends in West Palm Beach right around the same time I met Eddie in 1992. We hit it off right away. We both had an irreverent sense of humor, and we both took our jobs seriously, but not ourselves. Some of my fondest memories of my time in West Palm are of Isis, Wayne Wallace (another long-time friend), and me sitting in my office talking. Those were good days.

While in Miami Lakes, I met Isis at El Novillo, a Nicaraguan restaurant in a beautiful, upscale area. Isis got the Churrasco and I got a trio of appetizers: country sausage, sauteed mushrooms, and pork baby ribs. Except for the ribs, the food was excellent (the ribs were way too dry). Isis shared a bit of her churrasco with me, and it was delicious; tender and tasty.

It was good to catch up with Isis. She retired a few years ago and I’m always intrigued with how she is spending her life. She’s working a part-time job that allows her to hang out with her friends, she’s traveling a bit, and she’s enjoying life. I love to see good things happen to good people.

Like Eddie, Isis has lived an interesting life. She was born in Cuba, moved to Mexico, then Miami, then New York, then Thailand, where she graduated from high school. She returned to Miami to go to college, and has lived mostly in South Florida ever since.

One interesting thing about Isis is that she has a beautiful singing voice and once recorded an album of Latin jazz called “New Directions.” She recorded with the great Arturo Sandoval, and even played the Buenos Aires Jazz Festival several years ago.

Despite her long tenure in Miami, she hates the heat, loves colonial architecture, and claims she’d like to move north someday. I’m interested to see if she actually ever makes the move.

As we always do, Isis and I compared notes on our love lives. Sadly for both of us, there was nothing to report. But even that sad fact gave us something to laugh about.

Our night came to a close with hugs and a promise to get together again soon. Then I was off to my hotel to prepare for my two-day Florida Keys adventure. More on that in my next dispatch.

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Stop #2 — Melbourne, FL

There are few things in life as good or as important as sharing time with friends and family. I’m not sure I realized that when I was younger. I had a different attitude back then. I wanted to constantly be on the go, and my personal achievements and success often took precedence over everything else. But now, at the age of 65 (I swallow hard every time I type that), spending time with friends and family is at the top of my priority list.

As you know from my last missive, I’m currently bumming around the country waiting for construction on my new house to be completed. My journey started in Cedar Key, then I made my way across Florida to Melbourne to see my sister, Cindy.

Cindy is currently battling breast cancer. The doctors have told her that there’s nothing they can do to get rid of it, but they are continuing chemotherapy in an effort to prolong her life. I was pleased to see that she is doing pretty well. In fact, I thought she looked and moved better than she had when I last saw her in March.

Cindy has accepted her fate. I suppose that’s good, but for her loved ones, we continue to pray for a miracle, even though we know how unlikely that might be. But her continued good health (relatively speaking) and good attitude stokes the fire of hope we have that somehow, someway, she’ll be able to beat this cancer. Even as I know I’m setting myself up for massive disappointment, I continue to look for signs of a pending miracle.

We met at Miller’s Ale House in Viera. Cindy, my brother-in-law Craig, and I sat in a booth opposite the bar. In front of my brothers and me, Craig has put on a brave face. Like me, he continues to hope for a cure the doctors say will never come. But I know, below the surface, he’s scared. Who wouldn’t be in his situation? His wife, the mother of his two children, is facing a death sentence, and the most he can do is put on a brave face and be supportive. It must be the most helpless feeling in the world.

Craig’s devotion to Cindy reminds me of my own experience with cancer. In 2003 I was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. Doctors tried to determine what was wrong with me for nine months before they finally diagnosed me with cancer. By that time, the tumor at the base of my tongue was large enough to be seen by the naked eye.

Kim, my wife at the time, couldn’t have been a better partner. Despite whatever problems we had in our marriage, you’ll never hear me utter a negative word about the care she provided to me while I went through cancer treatments. She was loving, thoughtful, and supportive; a true partner. I’m seeing that same thing from Craig. Cindy is lucky to have him by her side through these difficult days.

After our visit, we went back to Cindy and Craig’s house for dessert. Whenever we get together, Cindy insists on serving dessert. I’m not complaining. We had chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream. I’m more of an ice cream man than I am a fan of chocolate cake, but both were delicious. Afterwards, we sat and talked about anything and everything. It was nice to spend time together and just let the conversation go wherever. It’s one of the things I missed most while living back in the woods in Wisconsin. Although I like my privacy, I missed being around other people and sharing time together.

After our visit, I drove south down I-95 to Palm Bay to see my friends Mike and Rhonnie. For several years, Mike was my teammate when we both raced sports cars. We used to spend a lot of time together at the racetrack, but in the last ten years, we haven’t seen each other nearly as much. Just as it had been with Cindy and Craig, it was good to catch up with Mike and Rhonnie to talk about whatever any of us had on our minds.

Mike recently retired from his job and he hasn’t yet settled into a routine. I’ve known him for a long time and I don’t think there’s any chance he’s going to be lazing around. He already has a bunch of projects lined up in the queue and I suspect he’ll be working as hard—if not harder—on those projects than he was at his former job.

For most people, I’d say Mike’s retirement will give him and Rhonnie the opportunity to travel more, but I doubt if that’s the case. They already travel two or three months out of the year. In the past, their jobs allowed them to do that. So, I don’t think Mike’s retirement will result in more traveling. I also doubt if they’ll be traveling less. They already have another trip to England planned for later this year.

I had to say goodbye to Mike and Rhonnie so I could meet my pal Greg at one of my favorite restaurants, Bunky’s Raw Bar & Grill  in Indialantic. I’ve known Greg almost as long as I’ve known Mike and Rhonnie. When I first met him, he was an insurance defense attorney. I watched him develop into an excellent litigator, then take his skills to the other side of the “v.”, representing injured plaintiffs. He built a solid, lucrative career as a plaintiff attorney. Then a couple years ago, he decided to shut down his practice, sell his building, and head out to conquer the Appalachian Trail.

Let me tell you a big difference between Greg and me. Greg willingly tackles challenges by himself. His wife, Jenn, is very supportive, but she has no interest in hiking the Appalachian Trail or taking on some of the other challenges on his bucket list. By contrast, I hate doing things by myself.

Since my divorce in 2016, I have made one plan after another, only to abandon them because I didn’t want to do whatever I was planning by myself. And I’m not just talking about big undertakings. I’ve canceled small things—like going to dinner or to a ballgame—because I didn’t want to do it alone. This cross-country adventure I’m on is at least partially an effort to break myself of this bad habit. And as you might have guessed, I’ve thought about canceling the cross-country adventure a time or two. So far, I’m sticking to my plans.

Not only did Greg complete the Appalachian Trail (by himself), he has since written a book to help others over the age of 50 do the same thing (publication pending). And for good measure, earlier this year, he hiked the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Impressive, isn’t it?

After a few beers, a blacked mahi sandwich, and some tater tots (I know tater tots are for toddlers, but I like them), it was time to say goodbye. What a great day it had been, catching up with family and friends, enjoying drinks and good food, and just spending time together. Sometimes, the simplest things are also the most precious.

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Stop #1 — Cedar Key, FL

I was sitting at a table at The Tipsy Cow Bar & Grill in Cedar Key, FL enjoying a shrimp quesadilla, which they call a Shrimp-a-dill-a. My day on Cedar Key was the official kickoff to what I have variously called my Homeless Tour of America, My Great Summer Adventure, and the Summer of Lou. I’m still not sure what I’m going to call it, but it was made possible when I sold my house in Wisconsin and bought a new-build home in Tennessee that is not going to be finished until the middle of September. I have to stay somewhere, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to do a little traveling, see family and friends, and enjoy my homelessness.

At the Tipsy Cow, Prince’s “Little Red Corvette” played over the speakers and Baywatch was on the TV near the bar. Lt. Stephanie Holden (played by Alexandra Paul) was being held hostage, and it seemed that even the great Mitch Buchanan (played by the equally great David Hasselhoff) wouldn’t be able to save her. I was enthralled by the show. Between the music and the images on the TV, I was transported back to the much simpler times (at least for me) of the 1980s. But then the server brought my lunch and I decided to let Lt. Holden fend for herself. It was time to eat.

It wasn’t just the music and TV show that made it seem like a throwback to the 80s. The rustic vibe and bohemian charm around Cedar Key made it feel that way too. It was as if I had crossed a bridge and gone back in time.

Cedar Key is located a little over an hour west of Gainesville, FL and about two-and-a-half hours north of St. Petersburg on Florida’s Gulf Coast. The island is home to about 750 people, as well as the Cedar Key National Wildlife Refuge, which itself is home to about 20,000 birds. But those numbers were once much higher. In the mid to late 1800s, Cedar Key was a thriving town of more than 13,000 people, and the area was home to more than 200,000 birds. Today, things are not booming the way they once were for either people or birds on Cedar Key.

Last year, the area was hit by Hurricane Helene, a devastating storm that produced a great deal of destruction along the west coast of Florida. After ravaging the Gulf Coast, Helene then turned inland, made its way across Georgia, and settled into western North Carolina, inundating that region with rain and causing terrible flooding.

Cedar Key experienced a 14-foot storm surge that submerged much of the island, with water making its way into nearly every home and business. The destruction is still visible in many areas, and work continues to repair and rebuild structures across the Key.

I couldn’t help but notice that there are dozens of homes for sale throughout Cedar Key. In some ways, the area feels like a hidden paradise, off the beaten path, but well worth the effort to get there. But below the surface, the island is facing an existential crisis.

Cedar Key’s economy relies on tourist dollars to survive, but since the hurricane, the economy has taken a real hit. Many people have decided to leave, tired of hurricanes (2024 was an especially tough year) and the struggle to earn a living on a remote island. But the bigger culprit in driving people off the island is the cost of homeowners insurance.

Florida’s insurance market is an absolute mess, and Cedar Key—which, after all, is an island that sits barely above sea level—has felt the fallout from the insurance market especially hard. Assuming homeowners on the Key can get insurance, it’s almost always unaffordable. One person I spoke to said that many people are paying more for homeowners insurance each year than the cost of their mortgage.

Despite its struggles, Cedar Key remains a unique destination that is quaint, laid-back, and has an Old Florida feel. In contrast to many of Florida’s tourist areas, which are commercial and often overrun, Cedar Key harkens back to a time gone by, when life was slower, more friendly, and less crowded. There are plenty of restaurants, bars, and boutique shops, but there aren’t hundreds of things to do, like in other areas of Florida. There are no amusement parks or massive miniature golf courses. No outlet malls or chain restaurants. What there is is water, and lots of it. Boating swimming, fishing, lying on the beach, and birding on nearby islands are the area’s strong suit.

During my visit, I took a boat tour with Captain Doug’s Cedar Key Tours. Captain Doug Maple left Georgia 25 years ago to enjoy the natural splendor of the inland. He is a graduate of the University of Florida’s Master Naturalist Program, and he enjoys sharing his knowledge of the Island and its history with guests.

Our first stop was Atsena Otie Key. The Key is part of the Cedar Key Natural Wildlife Refuge and once served as home to the cedar trees that were made into pencils for the Faber Pencil Company. The company ran a sawmill on the island and shipped cut cedar planks north to New York. The planks were then whittled down, matched with graphite imported from Europe, and made into pencils that were sold around the world. Today, the Faber-Castell Pencil Company is the largest manufacturer of pencils on the planet.

In contrast to the Pencil Company’s success, Atsena Otie Key has become a ghost town. Once home to nearly 200 people, today, no one lives on the Key. The reason for that is that, in 1896, the homes and the Faber Pencil Company sawmill were destroyed by a powerful hurricane. Few people decided to remain on the island after the storm, and the Faber Pencil Company decided that there weren’t enough cedar trees left to make rebuilding the sawmill worthwhile. In 1923, the island was purchased for $500 by a private party, and in 1997, it was sold to the Suwanee River Management District (SRMD). The SRMD entered into an agreement with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to manage the island as part of the Cedar Key National Wildlife Refuge.

Today, visitors are allowed to use the beach on Atsena Otie Key and can take advantage of the hiking trails, but are otherwise prohibited from accessing the interior of the island. The same rules also apply to nearby Snake Key. However, during bird nesting season (March – June), access to the island is strictly prohibited. I found Snake Key especially interesting. We saw several different types of birds from the boat, including frigatebirds, roseate spoonbills, white ibis, cormorants, snowy egrets, great blue heron, and brown pelicans.

Snake Key has an interesting history, which includes once being used as a quarantine island for ships making their way to unload cargo on Cedar Key. Ships first had to stop on Snake Key to make sure they didn’t carry disease onto Cedar Key. Any sailors found to be ill were treated at a hospital on the island.

At one time, Seahorse Key was used as a military infirmary, and during the Second Seminole War (1835-1842), the island was home to a detention camp for enemy combatants. As Cedar Key became more of a shipping destination, a lighthouse was constructed on Seahorse Key. The lighthouse still stands today, but is no longer operated as a lighthouse. Instead, it is used by the University of Florida to house students who are conducting research in and around Cedar Key. In fact, several students were in the area collecting samples while I was in town.

After my day on the water, it was time for a drink. I stopped by Steamers Clam Bar and Grill and ordered a beer. After being out in the heat and sun, it tasted especially good and went down fast. So, I ordered another. My bartender, Mary, was only too happy to accommodate my request.

I was in the mood for seafood (after all, I was on an island in the Gulf of Mexico), and knew I wanted to try Steamer’s clam chowder. I knew the clams would be fresh because Cedar Key is home to several clam farming operations. But when it came time to order dinner, I forgot to order the chowder. Instead, I ordered a combo platter with blackened grouper, grilled scallops, and grilled shrimp. It was delicious, and with a side salad and sweet potato waffle fries, I had plenty to eat. Even so, I feel like I really missed out by not getting the clam clowder.

Steamers was not shut down because of Hurricane Helene, but that isn’t as good as it sounds. Less than a week before Helene hit Cedar Key, the building where Steamers used to be located on Dock St. was destroyed by a fire (the building is currently for sale).  Along with Steamers, Duncan’s on the Gulf, the Rusty Hook Bait Shop, and the Island Trading Post were also destroyed. When Helene arrived, Steamers hadn’t yet relocated to their current location on 2nd St. In other words, they weren’t operating when the island was hit by Helene. I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or not, but it may have allowed the casual restaurant to begin the healing process more quickly than other area businesses.

After dinner, I had another beer. I wish I could remember what brand it was. All I remember is that it was a blonde ale and it was very good.

With the end of the beer came the end of my day on Cedar Key. I have to say, I really enjoyed my visit, but I’m not certain everyone would like it as much as I did. Cedar Key is quiet, laidback, and unrushed. Not everyone finds that type of atmosphere attractive. I do, and I very much would like to visit again to enjoy all that Cedar Key has to offer. And next time I’m on the island, I’ll be sure to get the clam chowder at Steamers.

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A House Isn’t Necessarily A Home

I’ve always loved log homes. There’s something about them that just speaks to me. For years, I have yearned to own a log home, preferably back in the woods on some acreage, where I could commune with nature and enjoy the peace and quiet. That would be the dream.

Back in 2022, I found a place similar to the one I had been conjuring in my mind over the previous years. The log home sat on 26 acres, and it was surrounded by hundreds of acres of undeveloped land. It was secluded, quiet, and it already had trails cut through the woods where I could hike. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it. I made an offer, and just like that, my dream came true.

But dreams are funny things. What you dream about in your thirties or forties isn’t necessarily the same dream you have in your sixties. When I first started dreaming about living in a log home in the woods, I was married and had two young kids. On the surface, I dreamed of owning a log home. But deeper, below the surface, what I really wanted was a log home on some acreage that I could share with my wife and kids. Sadly, by the time I bought my place, I was divorced and my kids were grown. And as I quickly learned, my dream was never to live alone in the woods, log cabin or not.

As much as I love my home and the land it sits on, I view it differently now that it is mine than I did when it appeared to be the answer to a dream. For instance, as much as I like quiet and seclusion, my place is often too quiet since there’s no one here to talk to. And it’s too secluded. Unless I make an effort, I can go days without seeing another human being. As nice as that might sound on the surface, it’s not good to be that isolated. Once in a while? Sure. But not constantly.

I now know that owning a log home was not my dream. My dream was to share something I love—a lifestyle I hold near and dear to my heart—with my family. But the years have made that difficult, if not impossible. I’m no longer married, and my kids are out on their own. Never say never, but it’s unlikely the kids and I will ever live under the same roof again. And as I grow older, it has become increasingly important to me to be physically close to my kids and to spend as much time as possible with them.

With that in mind, I recently sold my log home and have purchased a new home near my kids in Tennessee. I look forward to getting into my new house (it won’t be completed until September) and to being around my kids again (I’m not sure they feel the same way 😉).

As for my log home and the wooded acreage, I’m going to miss it. I feel very fortunate to have lived in such a great home in such a beautiful area. But as I have learned from this experience, a house isn’t  a home until you fill it with the people you love. Soon, I’ll be able to fill my new house with the two people I love most in this world, making my house into a home.

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My Friend Connie

In 2018, I was divorced and living in Florida. I had been on Match.com for a little over a year at that point, and I was sick of it. If you’ve never had the pleasure of using an online dating site, count yourself lucky. It can turn into a full-time job, and at it’s worst, it can be humiliating. Even so, it’s the best way to meet a potential partner (or so I am told).

Anyway, although I was living in Florida at the time, I was also spending a decent amount of time in Wisconsin. So, as an act of desperation, I began looking at dating profiles for women in Wisconsin. But after looking at a few profiles, I gave up. What was the point? Wisconsin was twenty-three hours away from my home in Florida. Even if I met someone, how would I manage the logistics of a long-distance relationship?

If you’ve never used Match.com you may not know that one of the perks of being a paying member is that you get to see who has viewed your profile. That’s how Connie, one of the women whose profile I viewed, knew that I had looked at her profile. The next day, she wrote to me and said simply, “It’s too bad you don’t live closer.”

I wrote back and told her that I agreed, which was the start to a conversation that went on for a couple of weeks. We really hit it off, and the more we talked, the more interested we both became. I was planning a trip to Wisconsin three or four weeks in the future, so Connie and I agreed we’d get together for dinner while I was in the area.

As luck would have it, about a week after Connie and I agreed to meet, I met another woman in Florida. Things started moving pretty fast, and in short order, the Florida woman and I decided to become exclusive. Although I was excited about my new relationship, I was nervous about telling Connie. Even so, it was the right thing to do. So, I told her that I had met someone, and that we had agreed not to see other people. Connie couldn’t have been better about it. She said meeting someone was the whole reason we were on Match, and she wished us luck.

I didn’t talk to Connie again for the next four years. The relationship that came between Connie and I ran its course, and I made the decision to sell my house in Florida and move back to Wisconsin (Don’t judge me!). I told some friends about Connie, and they encouraged me to reach out to her. They reasoned that we were once interested in each other, and since I was moving back to Wisconsin, why not contact her. What they were saying made sense. Even so, it seemed kind of creepy. I hadn’t spoken to this woman for four years. What kind of stalker does something like that?

Then my brother encouraged me to contact Connie. “What have you got to lose?” he asked. Again, what he was saying made total sense, but after thinking a bit about it, I again felt weird. I doubted if she’d even remember me, let alone be interested in talking to me, so I didn’t contact her.

For whatever reason, the day I closed on my house in Florida, I decided to send Connie a text. It felt strange reaching back out to someone I hadn’t spoken to in so long, but whatever inhibitions I had about contacting her seemed to fade that day.

It took a couple of hours, but I got a text back from Connie. To my surprise, she remembered me. And although it took a few back-and-forth texts, we settled into the same comfortable exchange we had experienced previously. Sadly, the day I reached out to her for the first time in four years was the same day she found out she had an aggressive form of breast cancer.

For months, while Connie went through cancer treatments, we stayed in touch, texting or talking nearly every day. We grew closer, even though we still hadn’t met each other face-to-face. As you can imagine, Connie wasn’t in the right head space to be thinking about dating. She had other things to worry about. The breast cancer treatments were rough at times. At one point, Connie suffered a heart attack related to the treatments, although in typical Connie fashion, she played it off like it was nothing.

I’m honestly not sure what changed for Connie, but at some point, she decided we should get together. We met up for pizza at a little hole-in-the-wall place she had heard good things about. We met and I was pleased to see that Connie was doing well, despite her treatments. We talked and laughed and had a great time, until I saw a sign on the wall that said “Cash Only.” We had already had a couple of drinks, and our pizza was on its way. The good news was, they had an ATM. Unfortunately, I had just gotten a new debit card, and it wouldn’t work (I later found out I connected it to the wrong account). Connie tried her debit card and it didn’t work either. We were in a panic. We pooled all the cash we had and came up with just enough to cover our tab. It was a hilarious, embarrassing situation.

We got together a few more times, and the more time we spent together, the more we became close friends. We celebrated together when Connie’s cancer treatments ended, we mourned together when my dog passed away, and we were both in shock when Connie learned that her cancer had come roaring back. The doctors told her that there was nothing they could do to get rid of the cancer. The best they could do was give her chemo to keep the cancer from getting worse.

Connie knew she didn’t have long to live. The doctor said it could be as much as three years, but Connie wasn’t buying it. She made plans to do as much as possible with the short time she had left. She sold her condo and moved in with her daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. They fixed up a mother-in-law’s suite in her daughter’s house, and Connie and Kristin (her daughter) set out to see the world. First, they went to Paris and London, two places Connie always wanted to see. Then they spent time in Cape Cod, and St. Croix, and Chicago. They also made trips to Houston (MD Anderson Cancer Center) and Rochester, MN (Mayo Clinic), for second opinions.

Then Connie got the news that her cancer had spread, first to her lungs, then her spine, then to her brain. The doctors thought they could combat the brain cancer with radiation, but it became clear pretty quickly that their plan wasn’t going to work.

Between the cancer, the chemo, and the radiation, Connie’s body began to fail. She experienced hypoxia (low oxygen) and dizziness, and had to be admitted to the hospital. Tests revealed that the cancer in her lungs had gotten much worse. In talking with her oncologist, Connie made the decision to stop all treatments. Within a few days, Connie went into hospice where she could be kept as comfortable as possible. We’d known for months how all of this would end, but I didn’t think things would get this bad this quickly.

Kristin asked that Connie’s friends write a letter she could share with her mom. This is what I wrote to Connie to let her know my feelings toward her and what she has meant in my life.

Dear Connie –

It breaks my heart to write this letter to you. I had hoped we’d have more time to spend together, but I guess God has other plans.

I want you to know how much you have meant to me over these past few years. We have shared some of our best and some of our most difficult times with each other. I am so thankful to have had you as a friend, even if it wasn’t for as long as I would have liked. You are one of the toughest, sweetest, strongest, most caring people I have ever known. You have brightened my life, and I will forever be grateful.

I don’t mean to be selfish, but this is all ending too quickly for me. I want to talk to you and see you again. I want us to laugh together some more, and if need be, share some tears. You have been a good and caring friend, and I will miss you.

I pray that the journey you are about to take is a good one. If there is a Log Tavern Pizza in Heaven, please be sure to save me a seat.

All my love,

Lou

Connie passed away yesterday, May 23, 2025. She was a wonderful person, a loving mother and grandmother, and a truly good friend. I mourn her loss. I’m grateful to have known her, and I will miss her.

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An Open Letter to My Friends Who Still Support Trump

I don’t want to rehash the 2024 Presidential Election. Your guy won a free and fair election and is now the President of the United States. That’s all well and good, but it’s hard for me to believe that what Donald Trump has done in his first 100+ days in office is what you voted for. It’s not, is it? I mean, I disagreed with your support of Trump, but I assumed you supported him because you felt he would do a good job for the country by bringing down the price of consumer goods, securing our border, reigning in spending, ferreting out corruption, and strengthening the rule of law. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? What are you thinking now?

In less than four months in office, Donald Trump has violated the Constitution, broken laws, and has become the most corrupt president in American history. I suspect you don’t agree with me. Your loyalty to the man completely and utterly blinds you to his bad behavior. So, let me spell it out for you.

So far during Trump’s second term, everything of consequence he has done has been illegal. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but let’s look at what he has accomplished in just over one hundred days.

In a recent opinion piece in The Atlantic, former Federal Appeals Court Judge J. Michael Luttig laid out the case against Trump. Here’s what he had to say:

“For not one of his signature initiatives during his first 100 days in office does Trump have the authority under the Constitution and laws of the United States that he claims.

  • Not for the crippling global tariffs he ordered unilaterally;
  • Not for his unlawful deportations of hundreds of immigrants to the Terrorism Confinement Center (CECOT), El Salvador’s squalid maximum-security prison;
  • Not for his deportation of U.S. citizens to Honduras;
  • Not for his defiantly corrupt order from the Great Hall of the Department of Justice to weaponize the department against his political enemies;
  • Not for his evil executive orders against the nation’s law firms for their representation of his political enemies and clients of whom he personally disapproves;
  • Not for his corrupt executive orders against honorable American citizens and former officials of his own administration, Chris Krebs and Miles Taylor, a former Homeland Security chief of staff who dared to criticize Trump anonymously during his first term;
  • Not for his unlawful bludgeoning of the nation’s colleges and universities with unconstitutional demands that they surrender their governance and curricula to his wholly owned federal government;
  • Not for his threatened revocation of Harvard University’s tax-exempt status;
  • Not for his impoundment of billions of dollars of congressionally approved funds or his politically motivated threats to revoke tax exemptions;
  • Not for his attempt to alter the rules for federal elections;
  • Not for his direct assault on the Fourteenth Amendment’s birthright-citizenship guarantee;
  • Not for his mass firings of federal employees;
  • Not for his empowerment of Musk and DOGE to ravage the federal government;
  • Not for his threats to fire Federal Reserve Board Chairman Jerome Powell;
  • Not for his unconstitutional attacks on press freedoms; and finally,
  • Not for his appalling arrest of Judge Dugan.”

None of the things Judge Luttig listed are legal. None. Of. Them. They are all unconstitutional, in violation of statute, or both. As Judge Luttig says, “It would be impossible to say, after Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office, that America has a government of laws, not of men.” That is a sobering admission from a man known for having an even keeled demeanor and impeccable conservative credentials.

But it isn’t just that his executive orders violate the Constitution. Trump’s acceptance of gifts and his selling access to the Oval Office fly in the face of the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. Not familiar with it? Here’s what it says:

“No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.” (U.S. Constitution; Article 1, Section 9, Clause 8)

As I write this, I can practically hear you saying (shouting?), “Trump isn’t doing anything corrupt.” Oh, really? Let’s consider a few of his greatest corrupt hits:

$Trump Meme Coin – The $Trump Meme Coin was launched just three days before Trump’s inauguration to his second Presidential term. The meme coin has no intrinsic value, but it does allow anyone with money—including foreign countries and criminal organizations—to purchase a coin(s) and potentially have direct access to the President. Recently, Trump announced that he will be holding a dinner for the 250 largest “investors” in the meme coin at the Trump Golf Club in Washington D.C., complete with a “tour” (presumably of the White House). Trump even promoted the coin on social media and encouraged people to spend more money on the $Trump Coin so they have a better chance of meeting him at the dinner.

Executive Branch Club – Donald Trump Jr., son of the President, has started a club he calls the “Executive Branch” that allows wealthy people—including foreign governments and criminal organizations (Notice a trend here?)—to pay $500,000 to become members and have access to his father. In other words, the two Donalds have concocted a scheme to sell access to the Oval Office, enriching the Trumps in the process. And because it is a private club, there is no requirement that Don Jr. provide transparency on who he is receiving money from. Remember how we screamed about the Clinton Foundation that Bill Clinton started that allowed anyone to donate money?  Remember when Republicans in Congress were claiming that Hunter Biden took money in exchange for access to his father and they wanted to impeach him for it? How are the “Executive Branch” or the $Trump Coin any different?

Qatar to “Gift” $400 million Private Jet to Trump – This may be the most audacious bribe in the history of the world. The Royal Family of Qatar (financiers of pro-Palestinian protests in the United States and of Hamas) has offered to gift Donald Trump a luxurious Boeing 747-8 jet valued at more than $400 million. The Trump Administration said that the jet—known colloquially as “The Palace in the Sky”—will be used by the President as a replacement to Air Force One during his time in office and will then be transferred to his Presidential Library Foundation, which means Trump will be able to continue using the plane after he leaves office.

Continues to Promote His Personal Businesses – As President, Donald Trump continues to promote his main company, The Trump Organization, attending golf tournaments at his Doral golf club, striking real estate and crypto deals with Middle Eastern countries, and requiring the Secret Service and other government agencies to stay at Trump hotels and resorts. In addition, he uses his position to sell Trump-branded merchandise, such as his made in China “Make America Great Again” caps, including a pink cap he promoted for Mother’s Day. Previous presidents were required to give up control of and involvement in businesses they had an interest in, but Donald Trump refuses, causing constant conflicts of interest between what is good for the country and what is good for Trump’s bottom line.

These are just the four biggest acts of corruption Trump is involved in. Any one of these things would have gotten any previous president impeached, but the feckless Republicans in Congress refuse to take any action against the President, and in fact, seem to support his clearly illegal, corrupt behavior.

Here’s my point: Unless I misunderstood what you, my MAGA friends, said prior to the election, none of these things come close to what you wanted Trump to do. You said you wanted him to fix the economy, not destroy it. You wanted him to deport illegal immigrants guilty of violent crime, but you said you didn’t want him to deport legal immigrants and citizens, and I suspect you didn’t want him to defy court orders in the process. And you wanted him to drain the swamp, not become the swamp. Did I misunderstand?

This is the part that is hard to say but needs to be said. Going back to 2015 when Donald Trump came down the golden escalator, I have not understood your support for him. Even though I disagreed with the stand you were taking, I believed that you still wanted what was best for the country. We may have disagreed about Trump, but I never thought your goal was to see our economy ruined and our democracy destroyed. But now, when the facts are so clear about Donald Trump’s illegal actions and corrupt behavior, if you still support him, the only conclusion I am left to draw is that you actually are not the Constitutional conservative you claimed to be. Supporting Trump at this moment means you do not support the Constitution, you do not believe in the rule of law, and like Donald Trump himself, you want to see our democracy replaced by an authoritarian regime with hallmarks of white supremacism, Christian Nationalism, and Putin-style corruption. Is that really what you want?

Being on the inside of the MAGA Movement, you may not see this, but the MAGA view of the world is simplistic, lacking in nuance and subtlety. Republicans good, Democrats bad. Conservative good, liberal bad. Trump good, anyone who disagrees with Trump bad. Your tribe sees the world in black and white rather than in shades of gray. But the world is not black and white. It is not simplistic. It is big and complicated and constantly changing. The MAGA faithful long for simple solutions to complicated problems that can be easily communicated in 30-second sound bites. But the reality-based world doesn’t work that way. Complicated problems require knowledge, expertise, and an ability to know history and apply its lessons.

Tariffs are a good example. Trump acts like he discovered tariffs and he sells them as a get rich quick scheme for our nation, not seeming to realize that tariffs led to the Great Depression and made the economic recovery from it much more difficult than it had to be. He also doesn’t seem to realize (or simply refuses to acknowledge) that American citizens, not foreign countries, pay for tariffs. They are a tax, much like sales tax, on the goods we rely on to run our everyday lives. Not to mention, establishing tariffs on our trading partners is not a power the Constitution gives to the President.

Immigration is another good example. Blame our immigration woes on Biden, even though it’s been a problem for decades, and then try to solve the issue by rounding up anyone with brown skin, including legal immigrants and citizens; claim they are terrorists, gang members, and criminals; and send them out of the country to a concentration camp without due process. Is that an effective solution? No. In fact it’s anti-American and causes more problems than it solves. But it’s simple, and it’s easy to understand and explain. So, Trump doubles down on the deportations, breaking laws, defying court orders, and ignoring public sentiment in the process.

We are a blessed people to live in the United States. And like all people, we have been given the gifts of intelligence and discernment. To those of us outside the MAGA movement, the facts could not be more obvious. Trump is burning down our democracy, making enemies of our allies, allies of our enemies, and pitting citizen against citizen. His behavior is crude, his policies are cruel, and his impact on our once great nation is corrosive. In the first few months of his new term, he has damaged the economy, weakened and weaponized the government, made a mockery of the rule of law, and made us a laughingstock to both allies and enemies alike.

And maybe worst of all, he convinced the MAGA faithful that he was our nation’s savior, the only one who could treat our ills and stand up to those “Godless liberals.” He told you that the enemy (what he calls his fellow Americans who hold different political views than him) works every day to bring socialism and communism (he doesn’t know the difference, so he uses the words interchangeably) to America. He called himself “The Chosen One” and claimed that deporting the stranger, denying food to the hungry, and marginalizing the poor were the “Christian” things to do. Sadly, many within the MAGA Movement believed him.

At this dark hour in our country’s history, it’s time to make a choice. I don’t mean to point fingers, but if you still support Donald Trump, you need to come to grips with the type of person you have become. You have to accept that your support is enabling Donald Trump to destroy the country that you have long claimed to love. Is that who you are, an enabler to the destruction of America? If not, then you really need to consider what your support of Trump means. Are you being true to your values and beliefs when you support Trump, or have you simply gotten caught up in the tribalism of the MAGA Movement?

Here’s the thing: Admitting you’re wrong is hard. I get it. But it’s okay to admit you made a mistake or that you believed Trump’s nearly constant stream of lies. As your friend, I understand how hard it is to make that admission. So, consider this an intervention, an effort by your friends to open your eyes to the reality of your situation. If you can muster the courage to admit you were wrong, the rest of us would be happy to welcome you back into the world of facts and truth, where our beliefs and opinions are formed based on evidence, not the other way around. The soul of our nation hangs in the balance. We’d love to have you with us on the right side of history.

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Is It Time to Leave the Country?

What would you have done if you had lived in Germany in the 1930s? If you had had the chance, would you have left the country? And if you hadn’t left, would you have regretted that for the rest of your life?

The answers to these questions are pretty easy from where we sit today. We know what happened in Germany. Leaving would have been the obvious choice.

So, is what’s happening in the United States today similar to what happened in Germany in 1933? Three professors from Yale—Marci Shore, Jason Stanley, and Tim Snyder—think that it is. In fact, they’re so sure of it that they have all decided to move out of the United States. In a video op-ed in the New York Times, the three professors detailed the reasons they are leaving, and sounded a clear warning to others that, although we are in the early days of Trump’s authoritarian takeover of the government, things are only going to get worse.

Although I’m not overly familiar with Professors Shore and Stanley, I have read a good deal of Professor Snyder’s writing, and I’ve followed him on social media for several years. I find his writing intelligent and his rhetoric quite compelling. So, his decision to leave the country has somewhat thrown me for a loop. And if I’m being honest, I have mixed emotions about his decision.

Timothy Snyder is no run-of-the-mill historian. He is considered one of the world’s foremost experts on fascism, and his writing on the topic has been widely read. His book, “On Tyranny” is one of the most popular books on authoritarianism, and the Twenty Lessons from the book have enjoyed a life of their own in recent years. If he thinks it’s time to leave the United States, then we’d all better take a hard look at the situation the country finds itself it.

Snyder’s first lesson (of the Twenty Lessons) is to not obey in advance. In other words, don’t give in to the authoritarian wishes of the leader/government before it is necessary. It’s a lesson I completely subscribe to, but I can’t help but wonder if Snyder isn’t doing exactly what he instructed us not to do.

I can’t claim to know Professor Snyder’s situation in great detail, but what I do know is that he is a white intellectual with a large platform to communicate his thoughts with the world. He has tenure at one of the country’s preeminent universities, and he appears to have the financial wherewithal to hire the best legal representation should he need it. In other words, Snyder has as much privilege as anyone in the country, so it seems to me he should be one of the last to leave, not one of the first.

That’s not to say that I think Snyder is running away unnecessarily. He knows his situation better than I do. But if we are going to save our democracy, we need people like Timothy Snyder in the resistance. We need his expertise. We need his knowledge. And we need people in his position to push back against Donald Trump’s authoritarian tendencies.

Another person I have turned to over the years for their intelligence and insight is Benjamin Wittes of the Brookings Institution. And as it turns out, Wittes is critical of Snyder’s move to Canada. In writing about the video by the “Yale Three,” here’s what he had to say on the Brookings Institution website, Lawfare:

“These are the people who should be out there doing stuff, taking risks so that others who actually have real vulnerabilities don’t have to. They should be leading from the positions of incredible safety they occupy. If they don’t want to do that, fine, no judgment. As I say, we should all live where we want. But making videos congratulating yourself for abandoning the United States is just thumbing your nose at the people you leave behind in situations of much greater risk than you ever had.”

I tend to agree with Wittes. The best I can say about the professors’ move out of the country, and the video they created to announce their moves, is that it may serve as a wake-up call to the nation. As Wittes says, perhaps the video can create a moment that energizes the resistance to Trump. If I’m going to spin the video, that’s the best I can come up with.

What I fear is that the “Yale Three” are obeying in advance. If I want to put a slightly less positive spin on the video, I fear that the professors are giving Trump exactly what he wants. Rather than staying to fight, American intellectuals—experts in fascism—are leaving the country of their own accord. It’s not only three fewer people to push back on Trump, but three of the best positioned people in the country to hold the line against Trump’s authoritarian behavior and rhetoric.

I have to admit, I can’t help but feel like the “Yale Three” are running away, abandoning the fight and giving up on America’s democracy. It seems like a cowardly thing to do. That is, unless the United States in 2025 is in a similar position as Germany in 1933. In that case, the professors are making the smart move.

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My Conversation with Marjorie Taylor Greene

Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) recently posted a long, relatively negative tweet critical of Donald Trump and her Republican colleagues in Congress. That may be surprising since MTG has been one of the biggest supporters and enablers of Trump and his corrupt, anti-American agenda in Congress. But even in her criticism, MTG gets a lot wrong.

I’ve included MTG’s tweet below along with my thoughts, as if we were in conversation. Of course, we were not actually in conversation. Generally speaking, MTG and I don’t run in the same circles.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene: I represent the base and when I’m frustrated and upset over the direction of things, you better be clear, the base is not happy.

Me: MTG , you’re not wrong about this. Increasingly, the base of the Republican party is upset with Donald Trump. It’s no wonder. What he is doing currently and how he is doing it is unpopular with a majority of Americans, including a majority of Republicans. Having said that, I think you’re wrong about the lessons you’ve drawn from the unhappiness of your base.

MTG: I campaigned for no more foreign wars. And now we are supposedly on the verge of going to war with Iran. I don’t think we should be bombing foreign countries on behalf of other foreign countries especially when they have their own nuclear weapons and massive military strength.

And on top of that, now we are told that we have signed a deal for mineral rights in Ukraine, in order to pay us back for the hundreds of billions of dollars that we gave Ukraine and they used for money laundering, sold the weapons we gave them to our enemies, and their leader is a dictator who canceled elections, was involved of the first impeachment of Trump, and campaigned for Biden. Didn’t we learn our lesson when we went to war in Iraq and killed Saddam Hussein because of “weapons of mass destruction?” Did we ever find any? And did any of that oil over in the Middle East make us rich? The answer is no, we are $36 trillion in debt today. So why on earth would we go over and occupy Ukraine and spend an untold amount of future American taxpayer dollars defending and mining their minerals as well as potentially putting American lives at risk and future war? Why don’t we just mine our own rare earth minerals that are tied up on federal lands that the government confiscated years ago?

Me: Wow, there’s a lot to breakdown here. Let’s start with no more foreign wars. MTG, you may find this hard to believe, but we generally agree on this point. The United States should not be engaging in war on behalf of another nation. I assume the other nation you are talking about is Israel, right? I don’t know that we are on the verge of a war with Iran, but it would be a bad idea, no matter the reason we might engage in such a war.

Next, you’re view of the aid we gave to Ukraine is strangely skewed. First, it is right and proper that the United States, an ally to Ukraine, should give military and humanitarian aid to them in their defense against Russian aggression. For the moment, I won’t get into the accusations made by your own Republican colleagues in the House that you are a Russian asset who often parrots Russian propaganda and talking points, but it’s important to remember that such an accusation still hangs out there and has never been withdrawn. In the very least, you’re a stooge for Russia and your view of the war in Ukraine is not credible.

Second, we didn’t make loans to Ukraine, we provided them with aid with no expectation that they would pay us back. That’s how these things work. We did what we thought was right, not what we thought we could profit from. The transactional nature of your perspective on how we should relate to our allies is troubling.

Third, I’m troubled by your obsession with spoiling our natural lands—which you wrongly stated were confiscated—in order to mine for rare earth minerals. You fail to look into the future to see what damage such mining would do, your only concern for the here and now. Expand your view, Marjorie. The world will go on long after you are gone. Let’s try to leave them a country and a planet worth protecting.

Fourth and finally, why do you insist on spreading lies about Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the president of Ukraine. He’s not a dictator. He was overwhelmingly elected by Ukrainian voters. Also, he didn’t cancel elections. The Constitution of Ukraine provides for the suspension of elections during war, although I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t know that. You don’t bother to read our Constitution. Why would you read theirs?

MTG: I also campaigned on accountability for the communist and tyrannical acts made by the government during Covid. Yet the Covid vaccine still has FDA approval even though there are millions reported injuries and deaths, and this mRNA vaccine is known to have horrific side effects and DOES NOT STOP PEOPLE FROM CATCHING COVID. And to this day, it’s still on the childhood vaccine schedule, why on earth is this happening? Hasn’t big pharma made enough billions and billions and billions of dollars on this lie?

Me: Seriously, is there any conspiracy theory you won’t champion? Let’s start with some hard facts. First, it was your boy Trump who made it possible for the Covid vaccine to be created in the first place. That’s not a criticism. It was by far the best thing he did during his first term. Your uninformed accusations about the dangers of the vaccine, especially since what you claim has been debunked completely, should embarrass you, if in fact you had the ability to generate embarrassment. Like any drug, the Covid vaccine has side effects. But they are not horrific nor are they widespread. It’s also true that it is not 100% effective in stopping Covid. But what you fail to mention or understand is that the vaccine reduces both the risk and severity of Covid. If you don’t want to get the vaccine, don’t get it. I don’t care. But stop spreading lies about something you clearly don’t understand.

MTG: I also campaigned on accountability for all the law fair that was waged against the American people in the past four years. What about all the people that were locked up in jail and the abuse that they went through? And when are those vicious attorneys and judges ever going to be held accountable for the lives they ruined?

Me: Sorry, that massive eyeroll was not meant in a personal way. Let’s start with the term “law fair.” It’s actually “lawfare.” If you’re going to talk about a subject, even if all you are going to do is lie about it, you should at least learn to spell it.

Of course, you’re talking about the January 6 defendants who you claim were unfairly prosecuted and locked up by “vicious attorneys and judges.” Marge, you seem to forget that we all saw what the January 6 insurrectionists did. It’s all on video, including on video shot by the insurrectionists themselves. Many, if not most, of the people convicted of crimes on January 6 pled guilty to the charges against them. Your base isn’t as stupid as you think they are. They saw what the insurrectionists did. That’s why the majority of people in this country—including Trump’s own vice-president—think it was wrong for Trump to pardon all of the J6 insurrectionists.

MTG: And I campaigned for an end to waste fraud and abuse of the American people’s harder tax dollars. I believe the DOGE mission is one of the most important things happening today in our government, and yet where are the rescissions that we should be voting on in Congress?

Me: “Harder tax dollars?” Perhaps you should proofread your tweets before vomiting them out into the cybersphere.

I’ll give you this, you are correct that Congress should be voting on the rescissions being made by Elon Musk and DOGE. Congress appropriated that money and it is only proper (and legally necessary) for Congress to rescind the spending. DOGE does not have the legal authority to do that. So, we do agree on this one point.

MTG: And one of the biggest issues in the nation that I have fought for, and early on I was one of the only ones that took a loud screaming stand against, is the evil transgender assault against our children. Most normal people in this country can’t even comprehend how it’s allowed to happen to kids who by law can’t even get a tattoo, drive, or vote. And how did so many of our teachers turn into the predators themselves that groom children with gender lies? This should be an all out effort by Republicans to end this insanity.

Me: No! No! No! You’re living in a fantasy world. Not only is this not “one of the biggest issues in the nation,” it is not an issue deserving of Congressional oversight. There is not “transgender assault” on our kids. If you truly believe this, please point out where it is happening. The transgender issue is red meat for your base, but in reality, it just isn’t much of an issue.

I especially take exception to your claim that “many of our teachers turn into the predators themselves that groom children with gender lies.” You are just flat out wrong with this claim. The vast majority of our teachers are underpaid heroes who are doing an extraordinarily difficult job under increasingly difficult and dangerous circumstances, made all the more difficult and dangerous because of ignorant people like you who spread lies for your own benefit. You and people like you need to stop the baseless attacks on our teachers.

MTG: And look at the extreme nature of our rogue judicial system that is so defiant that there are judges that defy our nation’s laws and block the deportation of literal enemies of the United States of America. Where is the outrage and moral courage to dispose of this treason? Sadly not in Congress.

Me: MTG, does your ignorance know no bounds? It’s clear that even though you serve in Congress, you do not have the slightest idea what the Constitution says or how our system of separation of powers and checks and balances is supposed to work.

Judges are not preventing the deportation of “literal enemies of the United States.” All judges are saying is that anyone you want to deport first has to be given due process in order to determine if they are truly enemies of the country. You see, that’s how our system works. We don’t allow people like you to determine who should stay and who should go. We have courts who make that determination by applying the laws that you in Congress pass. It’s all written out in the Constitution. You should read it. I think you’d find it fascinating.

MTG: And what about election integrity? This should be the most important issue that the Republicans aggressively fight to protect because without secure elections protected from illegals voting and protections from stealing our votes, the American people have lost their power.

Me: Let me turn that question around on you. What about election integrity? What are you even talking about? There are already laws against illegals voting in our elections. There is also research done that shows that illegals are not voting. In fact, election fraud of all stripes is largely a problem that exists only in your mind, not in the real world.

Think it through. Why would illegals try to vote. They face the prospect of arrest and deportation if they even try. Why would they take that risk? And if they did, how could they coordinate their efforts well enough so their votes made an actual difference, swaying the outcome of the election? Again, you are focusing on a problem that simply doesn’t exist. It’s just more red meat for your base, an attempt to generate outrage among your low information supporters, making them believe that the power of their vote is diluted by illegals voting. But it’s a lie. It simply isn’t happening.

MTG: When you are losing MTG, you are losing the base. And Trump isn’t on the ballot in the future, so do the math on that.

Me: Are you sure he’s not on the ballot in the future? He claimed he’s running again in 2028, the Constitution be damned. Oh, yea of little faith.

Also, please don’t refer to yourself in the third person. Even for you, that’s cringey.

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