
My spirit soars when the bright sun shines,
When blue skies reign o’er all
But for life to thrive, including mine
Sometimes the rain must fall
I love the Florida Keys, and over the years, I’ve been fortunate to spend some time there. I thought it might be fun to visit for a couple of days during my time knocking about the country, killing time until my house is ready in September.
There were two things I wanted to accomplish while I was in the area. First, I wanted to go to Key West to take some photos of the iconic bars on the island.
I have two cameras that I’ve been wanting to put to use for some time. The first I got seven years ago. The other, five years ago. Two years ago, I bought a nice telephoto lens to take photos of the wildlife around my property. I’m embarrassed to say that in that entire time, I’ve never taken even one photo. That’s right. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
I can’t fully explain why that is. I’ve had good intentions, but I just haven’t pushed myself to get out and use the cameras. I’d make plans, then realize I didn’t have an SD card, or the batteries were dead, or I didn’t have the right lens. I’ve also used the excuse that I really don’t know how to properly use a digital camera. I was raised on 35mm cameras, and I have very little experience with the digital variety. But truthfully, that’s a cop out. The digital camera literally only requires that you set it to automatic, turn the camera on, and push the button. It’s not complicated.
So, when I started this homeless journey, I promised myself that I would take some photos. I’ve followed through on that promise, taking a few photos here and there, but the effort has felt forced. I’m taking photos because I’m requiring myself to do so, not because there are scenes I really want to capture.
For whatever reason, there are only two things I really want to photograph. First, I love the sight of cattle out on pasture. I think it’s beautiful. A variation on that theme would be buffalo or horses out on pasture. It can be gorgeous and I’d like to take those photos.
The other thing I want to photograph is bars, both inside and out. I don’t know why I am drawn to bars, especially dive bars. I’m not much of a drinker anymore, yet I love to sit at a bar, love the look of a rustic tavern, love the beer lights in the windows of a worn, well-loved saloon. As you can tell, I also love the various names we have for establishments that sell alcohol by the drink.
So, my plan was to snap some photos of iconic bars in Key West like Sloppy Joe’s, Captain Tony’s, The Green Parrot, etc. I drove down from Miami Lakes, taking the only road into the Keys: U.S. 1. If you’re in a hurry, U.S. 1 in the Florida Keys is not for you. Traffic is often heavy, and speed limits are kept unnecessarily low. By the time I made it to Key West, I was feeling frustrated and stressed, the exact opposite of what you want to feel in the Keys. My frustration was made even worse when, just before I got to town, it started to rain.
June is not the busiest time of year in Key West, yet I couldn’t seem to find a parking spot. Even at the best of times, parking in Key West is at a premium, and I made the mistake of coming into town mid-day, when the tourists were out, and the bars and restaurants were getting into full swing. Between the lack of parking and the rain, I gave up. I’ll just come back tomorrow, I thought, as I turned around and headed toward Sugarloaf Key, where I would be staying for a couple of days.
I thought it might be fun to stay in an Airstream trailer for my visit. I’ve never understood the attraction to Airstreams. They are fairly basic when compared to other campers, yet they are very expensive. I wanted to give one a try for myself.
I stayed at the Sugarloaf Key RV Resort and Cottages. It was conveniently located between Marathon and Key West. The place was laidback, uncrowded, and the staff was very friendly and helpful. During high season (Nov-Mar), I could see the resort being a hive of activity. But in the heat of June, it was much quieter and unrushed.
The Airstream itself was nice, but not overly fancy. The AC unit was extremely effective. I’m still thawing out from the experience. The camper was comfortable, but not overly so. In fact, I thought it was kind of sparce. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I expected more bells and whistles. To be clear, I didn’t need the bells and whistles. I just expected them.
I said earlier that there were two things I wanted to accomplish during my visit to the Keys. The first was to take some photos. The second was to visit two different locations that I included in my two most recent books.
In The Ones That Got Away, the protagonist, Scott Thompson, runs away to the Keys after he finds out his child was fathered by another man (it’s complicated). While there, he meets a woman named Sheri, who is running away from her own problems. They hit it off, and when they go to No Name Pub for pizza, Scott thinks Sheri may be the woman for him. Why? Because they both like sausage and mushroom pizza. After Sheri ghosts him, Scott decides that liking the same go-to pizza toppings may not be the best indicator of true love.
Prior to writing the book, I was aware of No Name Pub, but I had never been there. So, I made my way to Big Pine Key to check the place out for myself.
I sat at the bar on a heavy wooden stool that was too high and made my legs fall asleep. The place is dark inside, and nearly every square inch of the walls and low ceiling are covered in one-dollar bills. I would guess there were thousands of dollars stapled to the walls.
The bartender, Josh, had a thick Boston accent that made me think of my friend Eddie, who I had seen the day before. He was friendly, and took my order for a Corona, as well as a sausage and mushroom pizza (life imitating art). The beer was cold, and the bar was humming. For a late Tuesday afternoon during low season, I was surprised how many people were packed into the place.
No Name Pub sits way off of U.S. 1. If you’re not looking for it, it’s unlikely you’d just stumble across it. That’s not how I envisioned it when I wrote about it in the book. I also didn’t expect it to be so dark inside. And the pizza? It’s considered some of the best pizza in the Keys, but if I’m being honest, it was just okay. I’ll admit, I can be a bit of a pizza snob. It wasn’t bad, but I’ve had much better.
After the pizza and another beer, I had to commemorate my visit by stapling a dollar bill to the ceiling. Most people write their name on the dollar along with the date or a funny saying. For mine, I wrote the names Scott & Sheri, along with a heart. If you visit No Name Pub, be sure to look for it.
I left Big Pine Key and went back to my Airstream for the night. The spot where the Airstream sits includes an outdoor dining table and a two-seat glider, as well as a charcoal grill, I went out to sit in the glider to plan my next day. I only had one more day in the Keys and I wanted to make the most of it.
The next morning, I headed back to Key West to take some photos. The weather on Sugarloaf Key was gorgeous, so I had high hopes. But as soon as I hit Key West, the rain started to fall again. The town was quiet. With the exception of Duvall Street—which is tourist central—very few people were out and about. The rain picked up and seemed to come down harder the closer I got to my destination. It dawned on me that it wasn’t mandatory that I take any photos. I wasn’t required to stand out in the rain, getting drenched, just to snap a few pictures. The realization was a relief. I could just be in Key West without having to take any photos. I drove around town, seeing the sights while staying dry. Maybe someday I’ll get those photos. But today was not that day.
I decided to leave Key West and head to Marathon for lunch. The closer I got to my destination, the more the skies cleared and the sun shined through. I had lunch at Porky’s BBQ and Seafood, opting for the BBQ pork tacos. Like a lot of restaurants in the Keys, Porky’s is under roof, but open air, meaning there are no walls. I like that vibe. It feels the way an island joint should feel.
The tacos were mediocre—good, but not great—and the service was friendly. Porky’s sits right on the water, so it was nice to be able to look out on Florida Bay while eating. It made the experience of eating mediocre tacos much more enjoyable.
I bummed around Marathon for a while before heading to Sugarloaf Key. On the way back, I turned off U.S. 1 on Cudjoe Key to look at the area where Henry, the protagonist of A Thousand Ways Home, ends up living at the end of the book (Spoiler Alert!). The houses that were there in the 1940s are gone, replaced by concrete block structures on pilings better designed to handle hurricane-force winds. Even so, I could imagine what it must have been like when the Keys were much less developed, when people lived so much more simply than they do now. Although the culture of that time might not appeal to me, the lifestyle surely does.
Shortly after I got back to Sugarloaf Key, the skies opened up and rain came down angry on the aluminum skin of my temporary home. The sound of rain, even when it’s coming down hard, always seems to relax me. I laid my head back and was quickly lulled to sleep by the insistence of the rain. A nap was just what the doctor ordered. When I woke an hour later, the sun was out and I felt like a new man. After a shower and a change of clothes, I headed to Kiki’s Sand Bar for happy hour.
Kyle, the bartender, welcomed me and quickly set a Landshark down in front of me. The wind was blowing hard off the bay, clearing out the humidity and cooling things down. Being at a bar by myself always makes me a little self-conscious. I generally don’t like doing things alone, including drinking. Even so, I was determined to get out and enjoy myself.
When I sat down, there were two couples at the bar with me. One was from Detroit. I didn’t talk to them, but heard all about their trip down and how things were back home before they left. In fact, I think everyone in the general vicinity heard them talking about their exploits.
There was another couple sitting across the bar who were having a difficult time keeping their hands off each other. She was good looking and younger than her partner. He was older and not particularly good looking. I wondered what the attraction was. Then I realized, that’s probably what other people have wondered when they’ve seen me with my past partners. That hurt. I need to try to be less judgmental.
The point is, being around these couples made me feel all the more alone. I fought through my self-consciousness with a couple more beers before putting in an order for conch fritters. They were delicious and encouraged me to order another beer and some grouper bites. I was on a roll. Unfortunately, the grouper bites were not great, which is a shame, because I love grouper. I could feel that my time in the Keys was coming to a close, and the thought made me sad. I decided to head back to the Airstream for the night. The glider was calling my name.
A lot has happened in the past few days. I had planned on staying in Florida for another week to ten days, but a problem is calling me back to Wisconsin. More on that next time.