There are few things in life as good or as important as sharing time with friends and family. I’m not sure I realized that when I was younger. I had a different attitude back then. I wanted to constantly be on the go, and my personal achievements and success often took precedence over everything else. But now, at the age of 65 (I swallow hard every time I type that), spending time with friends and family is at the top of my priority list.
As you know from my last missive, I’m currently bumming around the country waiting for construction on my new house to be completed. My journey started in Cedar Key, then I made my way across Florida to Melbourne to see my sister, Cindy.
Cindy is currently battling breast cancer. The doctors have told her that there’s nothing they can do to get rid of it, but they are continuing chemotherapy in an effort to prolong her life. I was pleased to see that she is doing pretty well. In fact, I thought she looked and moved better than she had when I last saw her in March.
Cindy has accepted her fate. I suppose that’s good, but for her loved ones, we continue to pray for a miracle, even though we know how unlikely that might be. But her continued good health (relatively speaking) and good attitude stokes the fire of hope we have that somehow, someway, she’ll be able to beat this cancer. Even as I know I’m setting myself up for massive disappointment, I continue to look for signs of a pending miracle.
We met at Miller’s Ale House in Viera. Cindy, my brother-in-law Craig, and I sat in a booth opposite the bar. In front of my brothers and me, Craig has put on a brave face. Like me, he continues to hope for a cure the doctors say will never come. But I know, below the surface, he’s scared. Who wouldn’t be in his situation? His wife, the mother of his two children, is facing a death sentence, and the most he can do is put on a brave face and be supportive. It must be the most helpless feeling in the world.
Craig’s devotion to Cindy reminds me of my own experience with cancer. In 2003 I was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. Doctors tried to determine what was wrong with me for nine months before they finally diagnosed me with cancer. By that time, the tumor at the base of my tongue was large enough to be seen by the naked eye.
Kim, my wife at the time, couldn’t have been a better partner. Despite whatever problems we had in our marriage, you’ll never hear me utter a negative word about the care she provided to me while I went through cancer treatments. She was loving, thoughtful, and supportive; a true partner. I’m seeing that same thing from Craig. Cindy is lucky to have him by her side through these difficult days.
After our visit, we went back to Cindy and Craig’s house for dessert. Whenever we get together, Cindy insists on serving dessert. I’m not complaining. We had chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream. I’m more of an ice cream man than I am a fan of chocolate cake, but both were delicious. Afterwards, we sat and talked about anything and everything. It was nice to spend time together and just let the conversation go wherever. It’s one of the things I missed most while living back in the woods in Wisconsin. Although I like my privacy, I missed being around other people and sharing time together.
After our visit, I drove south down I-95 to Palm Bay to see my friends Mike and Rhonnie. For several years, Mike was my teammate when we both raced sports cars. We used to spend a lot of time together at the racetrack, but in the last ten years, we haven’t seen each other nearly as much. Just as it had been with Cindy and Craig, it was good to catch up with Mike and Rhonnie to talk about whatever any of us had on our minds.
Mike recently retired from his job and he hasn’t yet settled into a routine. I’ve known him for a long time and I don’t think there’s any chance he’s going to be lazing around. He already has a bunch of projects lined up in the queue and I suspect he’ll be working as hard—if not harder—on those projects than he was at his former job.
For most people, I’d say Mike’s retirement will give him and Rhonnie the opportunity to travel more, but I doubt if that’s the case. They already travel two or three months out of the year. In the past, their jobs allowed them to do that. So, I don’t think Mike’s retirement will result in more traveling. I also doubt if they’ll be traveling less. They already have another trip to England planned for later this year.
I had to say goodbye to Mike and Rhonnie so I could meet my pal Greg at one of my favorite restaurants, Bunky’s Raw Bar & Grill in Indialantic. I’ve known Greg almost as long as I’ve known Mike and Rhonnie. When I first met him, he was an insurance defense attorney. I watched him develop into an excellent litigator, then take his skills to the other side of the “v.”, representing injured plaintiffs. He built a solid, lucrative career as a plaintiff attorney. Then a couple years ago, he decided to shut down his practice, sell his building, and head out to conquer the Appalachian Trail.
Let me tell you a big difference between Greg and me. Greg willingly tackles challenges by himself. His wife, Jenn, is very supportive, but she has no interest in hiking the Appalachian Trail or taking on some of the other challenges on his bucket list. By contrast, I hate doing things by myself.
Since my divorce in 2016, I have made one plan after another, only to abandon them because I didn’t want to do whatever I was planning by myself. And I’m not just talking about big undertakings. I’ve canceled small things—like going to dinner or to a ballgame—because I didn’t want to do it alone. This cross-country adventure I’m on is at least partially an effort to break myself of this bad habit. And as you might have guessed, I’ve thought about canceling the cross-country adventure a time or two. So far, I’m sticking to my plans.
Not only did Greg complete the Appalachian Trail (by himself), he has since written a book to help others over the age of 50 do the same thing (publication pending). And for good measure, earlier this year, he hiked the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Impressive, isn’t it?
After a few beers, a blacked mahi sandwich, and some tater tots (I know tater tots are for toddlers, but I like them), it was time to say goodbye. What a great day it had been, catching up with family and friends, enjoying drinks and good food, and just spending time together. Sometimes, the simplest things are also the most precious.
